She's Pregnant....

Well I recently posted a story about me and my girlfriend having issues....and what do you know....She cheated on me...not only did she cheat on me... She cheated on me with a guy....and now she's pregnant. You see the only reason she told me in the first place is because she is pregnant. So of course she planned on having unprotected sex and then coming home to me without saying a word....WONDERFUL!!! I honestly do not know how to feel I'm just numb as all hell. I will never in my life get over this I feel like she ruined EVERYTHING....things will never be the same in my mind...EVER. Although at first I wanted to kill her and everybody in my sight, but that stage is over.... I'm now coping with it..... but SERIOUSLY ...... IM NOT WITH THIS ****. I'm trying to be the bigger person here....I dont even care about what problems shes going through and all of that other bull. Now i question her sexuality in which she argues me down she's a lesbian.. I mean this is ridiculous....How is this a "mistake"...and "accident" ??? So what now?? Start over with another **** dyke and go through the same thing?? Or try and make this relationship work after 4 years....I dont even look at her the same......Sad.....don't know what to do.......Some positive feedback is much appreciated...Thanx
FearNothing FearNothing
31-35, F
13 Responses Jul 10, 2010

Sounds like a typical story. Like you know she only told you because she got pregnant. It could be a mistake but I think she used this guy as an escapism before realising the potential outcome. You're better off without and this scenario to bring a child into the world isn't the best. As a lesbian myself I wouldn't want this guy getting involved in this child's life but he has that right and always will. So it's hard to comprehend if you could get past the cheating or not and if you did could you really be ok with how this child was conceived?

Dump her! I know it's hard but if she truely loved you she wouldn't of in the first place.

Hi, your story sounds like it could have been written by my ex housemates girlfriend. My housemate told me she was a lesbian when she moved in here. Anyway she fell behind in her rent and started being a bit abusive so I had to evict her. She knew I was going through IVF to try to get pregnant (it ended up being a 4 yr journey for me to get pregnant). Anyway the day she came to collect her belongings she told me she couldn't move anything heavy because she was pregnant. I was dumbfounded as I thought she would have told me she was trying when she knew I had been. so I asked "I didn't know you were trying?" and she said "I wasn't." Well a lesbian can't fall pregnant without trying so clearly she's not a lesbian at all (Bisexual I guess) and clearly she cheated on her lesbian girlfriend.<br />
I don't know what they ended up doing - whether they stayed togther or not but I woudln't have been able to forgive her if she'd been my girlfriend.<br />
Good luck

Thank you everybody for the feedback...i have read everybody's and to answer....I still feel the same.... although she has gotten an abortion.....the problem still remains...ARE YOU A LESBIAN OR NOT??Like I said before she argues with me down to the core....But I'm still here.......However we are not fully together...I have made some time to get away.........Time alone to sort out if this person is really for me....She begs and pleads everyday so you know it's hard for me to just leave. But I feel a lot better and I can focus... I have too much going for me...school, and my future. This WILL NOT STOP ME!! Thank You everybody ...I swear if I could hug you all I would lol

Thank you everybody for the feedback...i have read everybody's and to answer....I still feel the same.... although she has gotten an abortion.....the problem still remains...ARE YOU A LESBIAN OR NOT??Like I said before she argues with me down to the core....But I'm still here.......However we are not fully together...I have made some time to get away.........Time alone to sort out if this person is really for me....She begs and pleads everyday so you know it's hard for me to just leave. But I feel a lot better and I can focus... I have too much going for me...school, and my future. This WILL NOT STOP ME!! <br />
<br />
Thank You everybody ...I swear if I could hug you all I would lol

The problem i forsee is that you are going to seriously resent her for awhile, and probably resent that kid. Also the father of that child will probably be playing a consistent role now in her life...... if i were you i would get out now before it gets really ugly. Run. Four years in awhile, but its not forever. Theres still a chance to have 14+ years with someone that will be true to you. Not all women cheat. She sucks.

whether you're a lesbian or not; a cheater is a cheater. and no one has to tolerate that kind of behavior from anyone. i sure didn't. instead of staying in the marriage, i opted out for my own sanity. i didn't want to be reminded each time i look at my ex and live a miserable life full of doubts and hatred. sorry you're going through this; i don't ever wish this on someone. take care and good luck!

I absolutely could not stay with my girlfriend is she ever cheated on me, to me that is the one thing that is completely unforgivable ! Not only did she cheat on you but by doing so she was risking you too, you did say you never would've known about it if she didn't end up pregnant. There are just things in life you shouldn't do and this is one of them, you said yourself you can never look at her the same again. Stay with her if you love her but I believe you will never be able to get that thought out of your head. Remember once a cheater, always a cheater !! Since she cheated on you with a guy she is obviously not as much a lesbian than she says she is, but I hope you can figure it out, but like I said I'd be out the door about one minute after I found out !! Best of luck to you !!

If someone cheats on you, there's always a chance that you'll get cheated by that one person again. If you feel so angry when you think about it, and so hurt when it crosses your mind. there's no point in lingering in this relationship. I mean, why did she go to you about her pregnancy? What does she expect from you? I mean, you are her bf, but it's not yours, and plus she cheated on you! Idk, I mean, it sounds like she's using you. of course, it's not 100% true, you're the one who decides that. but i hope you get to deal with this problem. <br />
<br />
-synclaire

Of course you're numb! Not only did she betrray you, she actively went out and betrayed you with a guy. I guess it all boils down to the age old question. Do you still love her? The betrayal rips your heart out and I for one would feel even more jealous, hurt and betrayed since she cheated on me with someone who had equipment I didn't. But it would still come down to all the life and love we had shared together over the years; all the moments good and bad that made us who we are as a couple. Should you be mad and hurt? Absolutely! Should you kick her to the curb? Thats up to you hon. It comes down to can you put the pain and hurt aside and forgive her? If you can't and this will always come up when you are mad or hurt then I would let her go because it will just eat at the two of you like poison. (I've seen it happen before)<br />
Best wishes to you, you will be in my prayers.

Four years is a long time and a lot of investing. You deserve to feel exactly how you do. She was unfaithful to you and now you're questioning her integrity and rightly so. A lesbian does not accidently have sex with a man. I sure as hell never heard of a straight guy having sex with a gay male, unless he's bisexual. I think you should try to salvage the remaining. It is a blessing if neither of you had children but wanted some. If you believe she's down right a liar and deceiver LEAVE. I would leave bc for some reason she terribly hurt you, this obviously came without warning but if you stick around and get hurt again its bc idk..... Some of us lesbians are truthful and faithful it was her character. Good luck in whatever you decide. Best wishes

It's up to you if you think this is over. No one can blame you if you say it is. However no matter what anyone says, the fact is that you're going to have to live with the choice. My advice is that if you no longer look at her the same, then it's over, but maybe the mistake was that she was drunk and didn't know what she was doing. I think it's up to how you feel.

i'm so sorry, hun. i don't have any answers for you, but i saw that quite a few people have read your story and said nothing. sometimes it is hard to know what to say, if anything at all. i hope you get through this painful moment in your life. i know pain like this, i'm sorry you are going through it.