How Do I Tell My Mom?

I am 13 and I have a very unique style. I wear a lot of black and tons of make up and love to be as bold as I can. I listen to screamo and death metal and love to be as different as I can because that's me. Not every parent's dream, believe me I understand. BUT every time my dad is there with me at the mall to help me with whatever style I want because being me is the most important thing in the world to him. My mom is not like that. At all. She is extremely conventional and just wants me to fit in with the rest of the crowd. Both my parents want me to be very high achieving in school - believe me I am, which may come as a surprise - that's probably not the first thing you would think of when you see my picture. My mom hates the way I dress, hates the music I listen to. She would hate my friends too if I could find people like me (LOL). I just came out as a lesbian to my dad and he was nothing but loving and supportive (as I expected). It was the most liberating thing ever. I feel free. Except for the fact I haven't told my mom yet. She will freak. I know it. She acts like she doesn't have a problem with gays but I don't think she would be as accepting if it was her own daughter. I don't know how to tell her. She won't let me dye my hair because geeks don't like goths and that's the only crowd I could ever hang with. How can I tell her that next year at my new high school all I want to do is hang with other highly intelligent gothish dykes. (I know, sounds crazy, right? I actually met one when I was 11 and she was the greatest thing in the world, but I was still in the closet with myself and I missed my chance :/) I know that I probably won't find other girls like that any time soon but I want both my parents to be there with me when it happens - all of it. I love my mom but I'm so terrified to tell her. My dad is urging me to join my high school's GSA next year and to go to pride marches and to be the best, proudest lesbian I can be. I want to do that so badly but how can I when I'm still in the closet with my mom? I currently live with my mom and although my dad will be there every step of the way, she is the one who has the real authority over my life. What do I do? I have to tell her but what if she flips out? I would die. Please help me.
xkxaxtxgx xkxaxtxgx
13-15
Jul 26, 2010