My First Encounter.

Okay, firstly, I'm not a lesbian, I'm bisexual or near enough a lesbian who fancies the odd guy. I know for a FACT i'm not bi-curious or any of that malarky.
I have been bi from around the age of 8/9.
I thought it was later but I showed signs of liking girls well after that.

Anyway.
I went to a party on monday night, and there was a lot of girls, and a lot of alcohol.
There was only one lesbian. And the rest were straight.
I really liked the lesbian. She was really nice, but didn't know how to tell her I liked her without being rejected.

I do want a girlfriend, and want that to be a long-term thing.
But I don't understand how to go about it, if there are so many homophobics, and people scared to come out like I am.

Only very few people know I am. And now the whole world does because i'm posting it here.
But if rumour slips out to others, I just deny it, and explain I like guys too much.
I'm a coward.

I'm beginning to like girls a lot more than I like guys.
I've lost my virginity already, but there was nothing there.
Everytime i kiss a guy nothing.
I look at another girl who I like, and my heart races.

Why is my head so messed up, and all over the place?!

Kimakazi Kimakazi
18-21, F
3 Responses Jul 30, 2010

I have the same problem i am such a cowardd at comingg out..

You will have a lot of questions for awhile... Follow your heart and don't worry about what people think about you! Being attacked to the same sex doesn't change the person you are! :) Hope your thoughts become clear to you.... Have a good weekend!

Because you are coming to terms with your sexuality... it is difficult. Why not hook up with the lesbian friend and just hang with her for a while...?