Long StoryOkay. So for awhile my girlfriend and I were in heaven. We both had good jobs, an apartment together and a cat. Although things were never "perfect," because we also lived with her sister, we got along famously-- and I thought we'd definitely be together forever. After awhile she got restless with her job, wanted to become a teacher. She took a year and a half to get her teaching certificate only to decide she didn't like kids and wanted to do something else. At this same time, I was losing my job. She wanted to figure out what she was going to do with her life, so after two years of living with her, she and the cat moved back into her parents while she took some classes at the community college.
I was 27, jobless, girlfriendless, and catless. I was depressed, but I hung-on, visiting her every weekend at her parents house 3-hrs away as she figured out she wanted to be a nurse. I was glad she had a goal, but I was feeling wary about where I fit into the picture. While I was waiting for her to finish her classes, I put up with some crappy part-time jobs saving money hoping we'd be together again soon. Six months pasted, we were still worried about money so we put off living together. She finally got into a nursing school near where I was living with my parents and I had some seasonal work lined up for the summer and fall before she started school again.
Strangely enough while my girlfriend was in Hawaii with her family, I was hired for a job I didn't expect to get which is 3-hrs away from where she was going to go to nursing school. Unlike the other jobs I had lined up, this job was permanent with a 401k and the opportunity to have health insurance after 6-months. I took the job right away. I was upset I wouldn't be able to be with her, but I'd been out of stable work for a year already. I talked to her over the phone while she was in Hawaii. She said she was happy for me, and I didn't want to completely destroy her vacation so I didn't push her or ask her to make any decisions. I had to start work in 2-weeks, so by the time she got back from her trip, I already had an apartment in the new city I was going to be working in.
Now... well, she's pissed. We "broke up," she didn't come to my sister's wedding. Then she visited for one weekend and we decided we should "be together," but as her nursing program rolls along, I'm worried about us making it work. If she wants to quit her program, she can always live with me. And she says if I hate my new job, I can always move in with her. --The thing is is that I would never, have never asked her to give up exploring and trying to be a nurse for me.-- But every time we talk now, it all about how I let her down, how I should be around while she is doing her program, and how I should find a job back near where my parents live so I can be with her.
The truth is I always wanted to be with her, but... I really feel better, healthier, more stable working a steady job. I also like my new city and the new people I'm meeting. I just want to scoop her up and have her live here with me and explore, but I'd never ask her to leave her nursing program. In a way, we've resigned our selves to phantom partners, because we say we want to be together (eventually), but in the mean time we both basically live like we are single and the other one is dead.