Confusion Much?

I came out properly to myself nearly two years ago. Thought it was a very scary experience. I think the lack of people to talk to is what made it worse.

I had always questioned myself and by about 16 I had labeled myself bisexual. Of course, from then until I was 21,With my lack of experience with women, I still wasn't sure how I felt. My dislike Of men was growing stronger. The last time I slept with a man, I made my decision there and then that it wasn't for me.

I remember being younger, seeing two girls kissing aNd wishing I was gay so I could kiss girls. It made sense at the time! :) So I said to my best friend I was gay. I knew I was. I knew I didn't need proof. I had flirted and listed after too many girls to know the truth. It's funny how I couldn't make my decision any earlier but I wanted to be sure.

So long story short I got in my first relationship with a woman. Would say it was brilliant except for the fact I got into a relationship with an emotional and physically abuse person. Sone day I will write bout that but not ready!

Actually she made things harder for me by repeatedly telling me that I wasn't gay and I was only doing it for attention. I know she said it to break me down, but it made things harder for me when I did question myself and also made me worry bout others thinking that wasnt. But I eventually got out of that rut.

I am now in a relationship with a beautiful girl, who is really good to me and I am head over heels about. So life is back on track!

There are still things I worry bout. Things like should I come out in my new job! People I knew in the past, the usual stuff but I know things will get easier in time! Don't know what tomorrow will bring. But I hope it will be good!
PioraRua PioraRua
22-25, F
3 Responses Mar 20, 2011

It must be a relief to resolve these issues.

I live in Ireland, so it's fairly good. Civil partnership came in in January. Woo! But yeah, most people are okay with it, except for my sister who won't let any of her friends know. It's just the fact that I will be going back to a job that I have worked at before and I would be coming back differently, but I do think just bribing it up casually would be best. I probably will. Think the more I do that the easier it gets. I remember the first time I corrected someone, I panicked, mumbled a bit then ran to the bar! :)

I am still going through the scary part and lack of experience. I enjoyed your story and hope things work out for u and your new girl.