Confusion Much?I came out properly to myself nearly two years ago. Thought it was a very scary experience. I think the lack of people to talk to is what made it worse.
I had always questioned myself and by about 16 I had labeled myself bisexual. Of course, from then until I was 21,With my lack of experience with women, I still wasn't sure how I felt. My dislike Of men was growing stronger. The last time I slept with a man, I made my decision there and then that it wasn't for me.
I remember being younger, seeing two girls kissing aNd wishing I was gay so I could kiss girls. It made sense at the time! :) So I said to my best friend I was gay. I knew I was. I knew I didn't need proof. I had flirted and listed after too many girls to know the truth. It's funny how I couldn't make my decision any earlier but I wanted to be sure.
So long story short I got in my first relationship with a woman. Would say it was brilliant except for the fact I got into a relationship with an emotional and physically abuse person. Sone day I will write bout that but not ready!
Actually she made things harder for me by repeatedly telling me that I wasn't gay and I was only doing it for attention. I know she said it to break me down, but it made things harder for me when I did question myself and also made me worry bout others thinking that wasnt. But I eventually got out of that rut.
I am now in a relationship with a beautiful girl, who is really good to me and I am head over heels about. So life is back on track!
There are still things I worry bout. Things like should I come out in my new job! People I knew in the past, the usual stuff but I know things will get easier in time! Don't know what tomorrow will bring. But I hope it will be good!