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Lesbians Living Abroad

The life of a lesbian can be a difficult one.  I remember telling my therapist a looooooong time ago that I was a lesbian and her first response was, "that's going to be a hard lifestyle".  It didn't take me long to figure out what she meant.  The lesbian world is quite limited and it can be difficult to even find other lesbians to be friends with, let alone ones you want to date because there are so few of us on the planet.  

So, I've been doing a lot of traveling and have been living abroad for the past 3-4 years.  Along the way I've had a few relationships, some long-term (up to 2 years) and some short term (only lasting a few months).  This leads my focus to lesbians maintaining relationships, especially while living abroad.  And would the same issues happen if you were both back home rather than away.  

Some way or another, the issue of time and money running out on you can interfere with the relationship's dynamics.  My last girlfriend, I was with her for only 2 months, we hit it off really well, but she was due to leave and go back to her country after finishing her school program here.  Needless to say, we had to end the relationship when she left.  I'd like to tell you that we were responsible and talked it over and mutually agreed, but it got kind of emotionally messy and trust was lost along the way.  My long-term girlfriend of 2 years, I went traveling with.  Honestly, I think it was the travel that did us in.  We both drove each other nuts and probably took each other for granted.  

So the maintaining that healthy relationship, full of balance can be a difficult challenge.  Although, I believe it's possible.  Even while living abroad!  I'm looking to widen support circles in the lesbian community and give more lesbians abroad and back home a platform for a sense of community?  This will be a long journey of mine that I'll embark on to discover the many ways of bringing us together.  We're a small community on this planet, very easily targeted to be misunderstood by those who haven't had much exposure or lack understanding of what we go through in life; watch that movie "Boys Don't Cry", if you want a more in-depth look at what I mean by lack of understanding and exposure.  As I travel the world and explore the lesbian communities in each country I visit,  my aim is to bridge the gap and strengthen the community in a global fashion.  That way we're fighting off the loneliness, lack of support, lack of belief in our rights, and lack of fulfillment in the way we live our lesbian lifestyles.   Right now I'm teaching English in South Korea, but in March, I'm planning a HUGE trip to South America, where I'll be indulging in the lesbian societies there.  I am really anxious as to what's underneath the hood of every continent's lesbian nations.  Share your thoughts if you feel the same way.  Do we need more unity?
Fivve Fivve 31-35, F 5 Responses Oct 19, 2011

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hi therehi supp? I m a gujju Jain GAY guy from vile parle -Mumbai .. well settled in lyf ...I have done my mba and now working in my own family business ... I m looking for a lesbian girl to be friends with and if we like and understand each other then we can look at getting married for our convinience Please do revert
i am also available at
newrshah@gmail.com

Great article! Nice to know..Thanks

as a transguy, I think the entire LGBT community deserves more exposure, though in a positive light. I suppose us transpeople may have it easier than LGB as at an eventual point in that we (usually) have the chance to live stealth. <br />
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Good luck on your travels.

Very true! Thanks

I'm a late bloomer but very blessed in connecting with a local gay community and have had some of the best times in my life. Being free to be me is obviously totally life changing. Had only 1 person that had issues which made my coming out to my kids and other family & friends very easy (half my friends were gay anyways). My method of connecting with others won't work for all, but being a clean addict I joined a Pride group and had a blast. Keep up with your good work!

I think Pride groups are the way to go. I was a late bloomer too, better late than never though..haha..and CONGRATS on sobriety :)

That would be such an amazing thing having an open community like you speak of :] And if I had the money and abilities to do I would love to join you in your travels to support the love and care that we embody! Haha I wish you the best on everything you hope to accomplish

Yeah, I think it would be a great way to empower us even MORE! Being fully connected and aware of how many there are of us out there. Hope to see you soon out there on the road, you don't need too much money to travel :) Thanks for your positive energy :D