The Big Scary LesbianI came out at 16, I think. It may have been 17. Not that it really matters in the long run. I came out to my mom, step dad and my real dad. My mom stood there scowling, and said that she had a feeling. My step dad thought that it meant I was molesting his daughters. And my dad was just like, 'okay, I love you anyway.'
Mom was not happy that I came out to her. In fact she's still mad that I'm 'a gay' as she puts it. She doesn't get it and doesn't want to. All she understands in her mind is that it isn't what she wanted. And since it's something she can't control it angers her.
My step dad accused me of doing very bad things to my step sisters. For some reason he thought that me being a lesbian must mean that I am also a rapist. It's like he hated me to begin with but didn't know why. And then, eureka! He figured it out, it's because I was gay. So all his pent up anger and aggression had a new outlet, me.
Dad was cool. He would probably be okay with me even if I brought home a goat. He has always adored me because I was his little girl. However, he did not have custody and was mostly absentee as a father.
I grew up and have since been in one very very serious long term relationship and a couple of prior ones that didn't mean anything. I'm 25 now and I've loved and been loved by women.
I'm not a flaming lesbian. I often get the 'really, your gay?' comment. It's like people expect it to be stamped on out for heads or something. While I'm very much gay I've never felt the need to wrap myself in all the banners and symbols of the community. But then I've never been one to indulge in the community very often. My age bracket among the lesbians and location seem to party a little to hard for my taste. I'm afraid I don't live for the party. I'd rather be in the gym or exploring academia than getting drunk or high. I've been called old before my time because of my reluctance to get my party on.
It's awesome to have grown up and come out when I did, because I can really see how the world is changing. Gays in the military and before long we will have equal rights all across the country. It does my heart good to know that those that come after me will have even more rights than me. (Hopefully)
LeighM58 22-25, F 7 Responses 8 Mar 14, 2012