Ex Wife Turned Lesbian

i 'm not gonna make this a novel ...
to make a long story short, my 2nd wife divorced me after 8 months of marriage.
she was the wife of my life. and to me, the sun both rose and set upon her.
but, menopause and other circumstances  were giving her "dope slaps."
she became a drunk. she fell into a bottle and drowned.  i then went from "HERO" to "zero" in less a month.
she filed for and got her divorce. needless to say, i was devastated....
after the marriage collapsed she started going through men faster than, "Grant went through Richmond."
in a roundabout way i happened to find out on FB that she has now jumped the fence and turned lesbian.
i just hope that she will now find peace and tranquility within herself.
may The Good Lord Bless her,

daguid daguid
61-65, M
11 Responses Mar 28, 2012

Thats terrible, sorry hon, where is the honesty in people?

Wow .. maybe that's why she was sleeping around and got married to you. Not wanting to admit her true sexual preferences? Either way, yea sounds like she needs peace in her life.

uh, nevermind. it still hurts 8 years later.


I see you still think of her happiness. That shows a good man who truly loves.

and still loves right up to the point of being.....haunted.

yours, was turn to lesbian...mine was turn to bisexual or gay...its so hurting..really hurts if you expect love and peaceful happy family...

U have no say in the matter. consider it as another Chapter being closed in your life. learn to not try to control what isn't yours to control.
life life one day at a time. that's all that the Good Lord gives us.
Good Luck and God Bless,

If it helps, it sounds like it was mental health issues on her part and you were just one soul in many in the path of her self destruction. Try not to take it personally... She knows not what she does and is likely a very unhappy soul. But, we can't save the world. Have you ever talked to a counsellor about it? Losing love to divorce can be just as traumatic as losing them to death. It may help.

TY for taking the time to read my tale.
the (not so funny) thing about all of that was, there were no subtle signs before she imploded. absolutely none... if i had known beforehand, there would have been no marriage.
i prayed to the Good Lord for her to change. i found myself mistaken and became frustrated. i can change someone else so, then prayed for peace within myself. by the Grace of God, He Blessed and poured out Mercy upon me.
TY, Lord.

So sorry to hear that, I'm happy for your cats that save you from dose ugly thoughts. Wen she wakes up from that dream she is going to realize the big lost. God bless you.

RE natalie :It's not a choice. Be happy being u. How can someone say something isn't natural when theres an attraction. Just live.<br />
<br />
I say any attraction to someone that is motivated by something far more sinister than simply love like using someone, or that someone to escape your problems IS NOT LOVE...love should be a feeling that comes naturally, but for instance if you only use people for sex or lust because of some sick sexual addiction using them as decoys on your path of self-serving self-destruction targetting specific individuals you know would be easy to get laid or who would easily succumb to your flattery and eat up your sh!xt, then it is NOT natural, but PLANNED, preconceived... The feeling you have to that person no longer becomes a natural inclination but something deliberately devised to serve your immediate needs... True Love should be natural, unplanned and simply be...but looks like it to me this woman is just using the new attachment like she did the rest for some temporary emotional support...she saw an easy target to dump her load on...until she loses interest and goes to another whether it be a man/woman.

You loved her enough to let her go. That is all anyone could ever ask for. I think she's pretty lucky to have someone who loves her that much.

there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about her. the difference is, it just doesn't hurt anymore....

speaking of thinking.... today, i logged onto FB and found a "friend request" from her. i wonder what that is all about?

She probably wants to be your friend. I wouldn't read anymore than that into it.

i will go into this with an open mind and heart. i am a realist and am no longer in love with her. the shoulda', coulda', woulda's are long done and gone. we shall see what happens....

I think you should. Plenty of people friend ex's, old friends,etc on FB. That was the original reason for the place- it was nce restricted to college students only- to find and/or keep in touch with people from your past. The set up is conducive to that.

well ...that turned out just as i had expected. i thanked her for wanting to "befriend " me. i asked her why she had changed her mind at this time. i had repeatedly requested being a "friend" and had gotten ignored.
i told her that i would NEVER embarrass her, and all that ask is her to not do the same thing. i later found out that she had "unfriended" me and has blocked me. i believe that one of two things transpired. 1: she and her girlfriend were talking about me and the girlfriend told her to do it. OR 2: the girlfriend knew what the password was and did the "friend " request. the ex ex found out and Fuh-reaked!
i chalked it up to her pickling too many braincells when/while being drunk. either way i wish her God's Peace...

All I can say is you did your best. I think you should move on. I know this is easier said than done, but forget about her.

thank you for the advice and the encouragement. in a way, i have moved on.i still have a hole in my heart that filled by her. i still love her but not in the "active" emotional sense. i must admit that , at times i don't like her much... she is erratic.
i occasionally hear from her. she starts off being lovey-dovey and then by then end of the first paragraph, i'm back to being an S.O.B . go figure...
either way the sun still comes up and the ties still come in and go out. life as i know it goes on.

5 More Responses

Blessings to you for releasing her and allowing her to find her way. The right woman is on her way to you. This I believe.

thank you. it wasn't really up to me..... i used to be an EMT but there was nothing (in this case) that i could do to help.she was in emotional agony and i could only stand on the sidelines.

but even to recognize her own emotional agony is so beautiful. my husband tries to understand, but he is so hurt he doesn't know how to have empathy for me. and i don't even blame him. this is a nightmare....

the nightmare is of your own creation. it's caused by doing what you WANT to do vs what you HAVE to do. only you can come to grips with that....

hmmm....i'm curious...

do you think i want to stay but i have to go?

or that i want to go but i have to stay?

in staying, there is safety. in going, there is a little girl who is afraid, very afraid.
reality NEVER turns out to be as good as the fantasy.
like i said, "that decision is up to you.... no one can live your life for you."

It's not a choice. Be happy being u. How can someone say something isn't natural when theres an attraction. Just live.

thank you natalie. xo.

Yeah you HAVE to face your problems but some people DO NOT WANT TO...that is where they go wrong!

5 More Responses

Wow what a refreshingly mature attitude for such a painful situation.

painfull to the point of wanting to clean the wax outta my ears while using a pistol. the only thing that stopped me was the thought of, who would take care of my cat?
God works in mysterious ways....

thank you Elran for the kind words.<br />
the divorce was 6 years ago this month and still there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't go thru my mind. (did that come out right?)<br />
time softens the hurt but it never goes away. i guess, in my own way that i've kinda sorta moved on.<br />
she's looking for something that me or any other guy couldn't give her.....<br />
we are all looking to be loved and be loved in return.<br />
be well,