Ex Wife Turned Lesbian

and still loves right up to the point of being.....haunted.

my mom (R.I.P) always used to say that, "things happen for a reason."
she owned a $400K home that we had both took pride in. we worked well as a team and had lived for each other. her chillins' were another story...
her eldest died at the age of 23. he gave himself a hot shot of heroin. her then 21 y.o.middle son is /was a living, breathing waste of skin. he mooched anything and everything from anybody/everybody just so he wouldn't have to get a job....
her then15 y.o. youngest was having to deal with his dad filling the boy with absolute hateful poisonous words about his mom and me. the boy would bounce off of the walls for 2 days afterward....
on top of her having to deal with menopause and the other utter nonsense, her mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer Disease. coming from an Italian family, i had suggested that she come to live with us. our work schedules were such that the old woman wouldn't be left alone. let me say her e that the idea didn't pan out as planned. that woman was a spiteful, mean spirited, self centered wench who used her illness as an excuse to abuse others that were talking care of her. nothing would/could please her. and i do mean, NOTHING...
none of her other bros and sisters would come to help us out. not even with an extra penny or two.
what should have happened over an extended time frame ended up being condensed down to less than a year.
well, she divorced me. lost the house due to her alcohol abuse. she then bought a $200K home and drank the rest of the profits from the former home. she lost the last house too, cuz of her unhappiness with her self. she now lives in a trailer park with her part time partner. go figure.
her life, her decisions. what she does with them is up to her. May the Good Lord, His Angels and Saints gather around and protect her....
let me end here by saying, "and the rest was history." hopefully i haven't bored anyone with this tale of my life, such as it was/is.

Wow! My ex did the same w/ his son. Talked BADLY about his mother n front of him.I always hated that. R

how could i speak badly (unlike her) about the one that i had once loved?

I don't know. My ex was a very bitter & angry man. He ended up pushing his son away. When the boy was 13 he went to live w/ his mother. I have no kind words to say about her & the way that she treated her son but I didn't say ugly things n front of the boy.
U R the "bigger person" as my mom use to say for not going there. The problem between parents is between them & the kids should b left out of it. They didn't cause the problem or have any control over the situation. R

ain't that the truth.
the 15 y.o. didn't know what to believe. his dad was spewing poison but yet the boy saw something different than he was being told. i had a "sit down " with the kiddo. i told him to, "believe in what, you see and hear while being at home. u see the smiles and affection. you see the hugs and kisses," (to him included) i took the time to teach the boy how to shoot a rifle and how to whack a golf ball, work on a lawn mower and be a "bud." i treated him no differently than i had done to my own boys. the kid learned a work ethic. you want something from me? i want something in return... work for what you earn. there are no, "gimme's" in the real world.
to make a long story short, the boy stopped going over to dad's place. it was a lot more quiet and pleasant at home...
The End.

What a beautiful spirit you have! I'm so impressed with the love you show 2 those around you. My stepson is 21 now & has grown up to be such a responsible ethical young man. I'm so proud & I let him know. He's going to work for the sheriffs' dept , has been on the volunteer fire dept about 7 years. He's turned out in spite of the 2 parents (biological) he had. I hope that in some way I influenced his life for the better. I saw him not too long ago, he came to my house & we visited for hours.

TYVM.
i have to give the credit to my Grandma, mom and dad. i had the Bestest teachers when i was growing up. they taught my sis and me, what was right and what was, "not so much."
we are all teachers of others. as for me? hopefully my being a teacher of others will be for the good, even after having a "bad hair day" or two.
i have met many many folks throughout my 61 years. i've tried to take a little from this one and a little from that person... utilizing the best from each one.
even including the folks that i have run like hell from. those miserable wretches were filed under, "don't go there."

i read the Eulogy at my dad's funeral. (i had passed it on from a newspaper article that i had once read.)
it is titled, "stepping stones."
isn't it strange that princes and kings, and clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
that common folks like U and me, are all builders for Eternity?
Each are given a bag of tools, a shapeless mass and a book of Rules .
and when at last our lives have flown, what did we build, stumbling blocks or....stepping stones?
my braincell read that article one time and snatched it up to be held until the day that i leave this world.
i got weepy when i first had read it. got weepy when had i repeated the poem at the funeral service. and get weepy still, every time that i mention or think about these absolutely lovely words...
if i can only live up to this then, i will have succeeded in life.
TY for giving me the opportunity to mention this.

am truly glad to hear that the boy has grown up to be an "upstanding" man.
yes dear, you can rest easy with your concerns about being a good influence upon him. don't it just wanna make U frame the boy and hang him on a wall? (gigglin')

Absolutely! I just wanna give him hugs, tell him how proud I am, & put his poster, if he had one, on the wall.

never-ever let a chance go by to tell someone that you love em'. never-ever...

U have no say in the matter. consider it as another Chapter being closed in your life. learn to not try to control what isn't yours to control.
life life one day at a time. that's all that the Good Lord gives us.
Good Luck and God Bless,

TY for taking the time to read my tale.
the (not so funny) thing about all of that was, there were no subtle signs before she imploded. absolutely none... if i had known beforehand, there would have been no marriage.
i prayed to the Good Lord for her to change. i found myself mistaken and became frustrated. i can change someone else so, then prayed for peace within myself. by the Grace of God, He Blessed and poured out Mercy upon me.
TY, Lord.

it has taken me years to get to the point where i can think of her and not shake my head and not want to cry.
she just up and imploded. i live my life just the way that God gives it to me...one day at a time.

there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about her. the difference is, it just doesn't hurt anymore....

speaking of thinking.... today, i logged onto FB and found a "friend request" from her. i wonder what that is all about?

She probably wants to be your friend. I wouldn't read anymore than that into it.

i will go into this with an open mind and heart. i am a realist and am no longer in love with her. the shoulda', coulda', woulda's are long done and gone. we shall see what happens....

I think you should. Plenty of people friend ex's, old friends,etc on FB. That was the original reason for the place- it was nce restricted to college students only- to find and/or keep in touch with people from your past. The set up is conducive to that.

well ...that turned out just as i had expected. i thanked her for wanting to "befriend " me. i asked her why she had changed her mind at this time. i had repeatedly requested being a "friend" and had gotten ignored.
i told her that i would NEVER embarrass her, and all that ask is her to not do the same thing. i later found out that she had "unfriended" me and has blocked me. i believe that one of two things transpired. 1: she and her girlfriend were talking about me and the girlfriend told her to do it. OR 2: the girlfriend knew what the password was and did the "friend " request. the ex ex found out and Fuh-reaked!
i chalked it up to her pickling too many braincells when/while being drunk. either way i wish her God's Peace...

All I can say is you did your best. I think you should move on. I know this is easier said than done, but forget about her.

thank you for the advice and the encouragement. in a way, i have moved on.i still have a hole in my heart that filled by her. i still love her but not in the "active" emotional sense. i must admit that , at times i don't like her much... she is erratic.
i occasionally hear from her. she starts off being lovey-dovey and then by then end of the first paragraph, i'm back to being an S.O.B . go figure...
either way the sun still comes up and the ties still come in and go out. life as i know it goes on.

thank you. it wasn't really up to me..... i used to be an EMT but there was nothing (in this case) that i could do to help.she was in emotional agony and i could only stand on the sidelines.

but even to recognize her own emotional agony is so beautiful. my husband tries to understand, but he is so hurt he doesn't know how to have empathy for me. and i don't even blame him. this is a nightmare....

the nightmare is of your own creation. it's caused by doing what you WANT to do vs what you HAVE to do. only you can come to grips with that....

hmmm....i'm curious...

do you think i want to stay but i have to go?

or that i want to go but i have to stay?

in staying, there is safety. in going, there is a little girl who is afraid, very afraid.
reality NEVER turns out to be as good as the fantasy.
like i said, "that decision is up to you.... no one can live your life for you."

It's not a choice. Be happy being u. How can someone say something isn't natural when theres an attraction. Just live.

thank you natalie. xo.

Yeah you HAVE to face your problems but some people DO NOT WANT TO...that is where they go wrong!

painfull to the point of wanting to clean the wax outta my ears while using a pistol. the only thing that stopped me was the thought of, who would take care of my cat?
God works in mysterious ways....