Love, Warmth, Comfort, Hiding.

I've loved women for a very long time - the way they look, the way they move, the way they smell, the way they feel pressed against my body, and the way they excite and move feels so natural.

Only my close friends know that I'm a lesbian - I haven't told my parents, because I'm very certain they'd disapprove.  Both of them are very religious/conservative, so they think being gay/lesbian is a choice to be "sinful and against God." 

I joked around about being a lesbian once with my Mom, and her reaction was not encouraging.  First she laughed about how "ridiculous" it was, then she went on a religious rant about homosexuality and sin, with all the usual hellfire references.  I just can't see telling them - they could never accept me if they knew.  They may suspect something (since I never seem to have a boyfriend,) but maybe they just think I'm not good at getting guys!

I've been in a relationship with a girl for a while now; we live together, but my parents think we're roommates.  They've only met her a couple times, and I don't think they suspect anything.  We're having some trouble as I'm writing this - she's been really bitchy lately, honestly, and I'm not sure what to do about it.  I can't seem to cheer her up; but that's a subject for another day...

I don't really know how to do this yet - I don't yet know how to live and be myself.  I'm still evolving and pushing myself, so I guess that's a start.

shattergirl shattergirl
22-25, F
2 Responses May 18, 2008

I use to think that my mom would not accept me if i told her i'm gay, at first she was upset and then I started to stay away and not visit much because i was afraid of what she may say to me, well. to my surprise, she wants me back in her life more and and told me that she loves me and my girlfriend and wants the both of us to come and visit with her more. So, Don't give up to quickly, If she really Loves you, she will accept it in due time.

I've joked a few times about being a lesbian to my mom, and she's the same way.<br />
She starts out, "Ha ha. Very funny."<br />
Ten minutes later, she rants about how wrong it is, and "Are you really a lesbian?!"<br />
<br />
Her favourite jokeline on the subject?<br />
"God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."<br />
Ahahah.<br />
<br />
Thanks for sharing. (: