Real And Surreal

I am finally home. It took a while and alot of emotional blockmail from family but I am finally home. The trip was both pleasant and dreadful> pleasant as I did not feel any of those suffocating scenarios I normally have when on a plane, and dreadful because I had fever the whole time. And we are talking about a 16 hour trip!

The temperature was humid that Wednesday night, but Ive known this humidity all my life so it was not a real problem. The house was the same, with a few repairs and lots of dust, but nothing I cannot really handle. My dogs are still with the caretaker and will get them as soon as Im done with all the housework. I managed to sleep for 2 days only because my fever lasted that long. I was afraid I might have gotten not just the flu and was bent on admitting myself to a hospital. On the 3rd day, my fever was gone.

I started dusting, organizing, and I had a blast. Most of my stuff are junk! I neatly placed them in garbage bags for giving away or throwing away. I also had a chance to go to the grocery, bought something for myself, and just this morning, went out with friends for lunch. I am back with organizing my closets as I havent really unpacked.

Thats the REAL part, all words written above.

Entering my house after a long time gave me mixed emotions, but mainly anxiety. The anxiety of the unknown, on what is going to happen next. I have no concrete plans for how I am going to write this chapter of my book, the re entry phase to familiar territory. The moon was just above my window and staring at it I wondered more. What now? What will I do? My partner and I talked about it. She told me, relax your mind, just take it one day at a time. I am thankful for having her, she anchors me and gives me strenght.

Some people leave to make a fresh start. Others, like me, go back to reclaim our Lives. SURREAL.
msjones2 msjones2
41-45, F
May 6, 2012