Im Sick Of Watching Lesbian Films And Pretending They're About Me...

i'm sick of feeling like im the only one in this situation, i feel trapped, like i'll never meet anyone like me. i've known im bi/lesbian for a year or so now, and being naive i assumed that as soon as i admitted what i am to myself that somehow oher lesbians would have some 6th sense and be able to tell im gay without me coming out first..i've definately been watching too many lesbian films.. haha
i'm a teenager, and i live in a place where being gay is pretty frowned on by adults etc but in some teenage social groups, it seems to be 'cool' to be all deep,be bi or gay and do the whole 'teenage angst/im so hipster' thing haha.. unfortunately for me these groups are extremely cliquey, and you have to have dyed hair, multiple face piercings and smoke a **** load of cigarettes.
And then there are other groups who don't accept homosexuality at all, and if they know anyone who is they will take the **** of them or bully them. Although, for some reason, a boy being gay is much more accepted than a girl being gay. This is the type of group that my school consists of, its a very close-minded, upper class school - which i hate.
How am i supposed to meet anyone whos gay/bi if the only ones who are 'out' are in cliquey groups, and the ones who arent (e.g. me) are to scared to come out? I'm probably the last person anyone would expect to be lesbian; im a typical girl, and i doubt anyone would be able to tell unless they manage to catch me checking out a pretty girl walking past haha
i feel so lonely. a few of my friends know but none of them are gay so we cant relate. Ive only ever kissed one girl, who happened to be my bestfriend, but as per usual we were drunk everytime..and i know shes not gay
And as sad as it is, these days im just sitting on my laptop googling 'how to meet other lesbians', 'how to get girls to like you' and what not, its so pathetic!
anyways, i know this wasnt really an answerable question, but any advice would be appreciated :)
AimeeJayne AimeeJayne
13-15, F
May 13, 2012