Can Anyone Help, Please?

Hello everyone, I'm 14 and I don't really have this figured out yet:/

I've had 2 boyfriends, but only one was kinda serious, but even then it only lasted two weeks:P I'm not sure about any of this, but within the past 6 months it so, I've noticed that I really don't like boys. Whenever I think about sex, it grosses me out to think that I'd have to do it with a boy. I'd much rather do it with another girl.

Seems easy ebough right? Well I still don't think I get it. I think I'm a lesbian, but the idea that I really am just doesn't click for some reason. Another thing that you should note is that I have a bad Babbitt of subconsciously thinking I want or want to be something while not actually wanting it. I'll actually trick myself into believing it. Then if or when it becomes reality, I realize I ne'er really wanted it.

I guess what I'm saying here is that I don't know if I'm tricking myself with this, or if I am a lesbian but too afraid of....well I guess afraid I won't be able to have sleepovers with my friends cuz they'd feel weird about it:/

Please give me your opnions!!!
InnocentlyNaughty InnocentlyNaughty
18-21, F
3 Responses May 13, 2012

The best advice I can give you is give yourself time to figure it out. It'll come on its own. Your worrying over nothing.

The best advice I can offer is to stop thinking 'What am I?' and start thinking 'Who do I love?' Instead of focusing on a gender, focus on the magnet feel that you will inevitable experience with someone soon enough. Who makes you feel good? Who makes you want to get closer to, physically and emotionally? If you don't have an answer, don't worry about it, you will meet someone who draws you in the way others just can't. If they happen to be girl, congrats! You just might indeed be a lesbian! If they are a guy, again, congrats! You might be straight! But I believe that until you meet that person where you just know they are right for you, nothing is entirely certain. You have your whole life to live and love and explore. Don't let a label restrict the experience that is life. I hope this helped a little :)

Wooooowww...:) u really know ur stuff! That helped TONS, thank you! :)

Aww, thanks, I'm really glad you found it helpful! Good luck with everything!

I think you need to stop worrying about what label you put on yourself ...... the stigma in loving another girl is the word lesbian not the actions because nobody would ever have to know about who you make love to unless you or your lover tells somebody. If you have a very good close female friend that you can talk to about this then you should. If sh is as close and good friend as you believe she is she will understand exactly what you are going through and will be able to help you through all this. Who knows, maybe she feels the same way and you might just spark up a loving relationship. But, the wrong thing to do is to rationalize what your emotionally going through and everyone knows you cant rationalize emotions. I hope everything works out for you. Stephanie xx oo

Thank you so much! Really everyone on herbs so helpful and great:) I'm really glad a shared this story because now I have a much better idea on how to go about this.
-IN (my username initials)