In Love With A Straight Girl.

Half way through my freshman year of high school I met this amazing girl (I'll just call her CBS). She was a senior. We just started talking one day about something random. I've always been a pretty funny person and that day she couldn't stop laughing at the things I said. It made me feel great. After that day we became really close and always hung out (we still do). People would make comments about how we were attached at the hip. I act much older than I am so it wasn't weird hanging out with someone a lot older. I always loved being with her. She is getting ready to go to college so I see her less and less. After a while I started to get DEEP feelings for her. I am IN LOVE with her. 100%. There is just one problem: she is straight and has a boyfriend. Through her I've met and become friends with him (just friends, dont worry :) ) Iwould never want to do anything to hurt her relationship thoguh, I love her too much. All I want in this whole world is to get close with her but can't. She made me realize I like girls and I'm still getting used to the idea. I love her and I don't know what to do. She is who I would talk to about problems like this but I can't under these circumstances. I never want to lose her friendship. Advice? Comments?
iLoveCBS iLoveCBS
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 5, 2012

i'm in the same situation. I've been in love with my straight best friend for about for years. She has a boyfriend now too and it hurts to see her love someone else. However, we still are best friends, and I've recently come out to her as a lesbian. She accepts me and it feels great, but she doesn't know that i'm madly in love with her. It's really hard sometimes, but you have to think of yourself first and try to move on. I also think you should be her friend, it's great to have someone to talk to and stuff. I'm still trying to move on too, but if you ever want to talk you can always send me a message :) sorry i'm not much help, but just know that you're not alone.

My advise to you...just be her friend. I had really strong feelings for my straight married bf and over time she figured it out. After she divorced, one night she got really drunk and started messing with me. I tried to stop her but one thing led to another... and well..It was really wierd the next morning. I told her we will just act like that never happend. I know she has feelings for me too..(it sneaks out when she drinks.) but..she has a boyfriend now. This situation has made our relationship different. It seems to me like we try to avoid each other cause we don't want to deal with what happend or maybe deal with our real feelings. My feelings for her has changed and I'm not in love with her now. I don't think I helped you any but hang in might realize it wasn't love in the first place as did I.

Honestly, thanks for the advice. I just have to learn to love her but not be IN love with her. I want to friends with her forever because she is my anchor. I can tell her anything and I would do anything for her. Thanks again for the advice.