My First Kiss With A Girl

Huhu everyone.. please dont be too judgemental with my writing/english :3

It was on a weekend in spring 2011, me and my best friend Sabrina decided to "climb some mountains" as we called it.. so far its just walking up a mountain over some hiking paths untill you get to the cross on top but well ;)

I've known her since i can think, played in sandbox together and nothing could seperate us.

So we started pretty early in morning, the weather was realy nice, not a single cloud up in sky, birds singing around us. She parked her car at a parkinglot in a small town. We took our backpacks and got moveing.

We reached the cross around midday, perfect for a little lunch. The view was awesome, could see so far, but also could see some dark clouds coming up.
So we decided to go back to car.

But of course, as it shall be- it started raining like at middle of the way.. not like we were sad or so about it, we had our fun :D.
After like half an hour running through rain we found a "savehouse", a public small wodden house for people who need some cover (like us ^.^)

So we went in that house, fired up the chimney to dry our cloths.. we sat there, it got really stormy outside.. rain knocked at the windows, thunder was very loud (i dont like thunder s: creeps me out).. inside the house the only light source was the chimney, and the lightning outside the window..

We sat there silent for a couple of minutes in total silence (except the storm ^.^). Out of sudden she asked me, if i ever thought about girls. I didnt understand her first.. She explaned herself, if i ever thought about beeing with a girl. I was pretty confused. Simply said no.. The silence returned.. but her question echoed around in my head.. I started thinking.. it felt.. new, but not wrong..

I was that concentrated on her question, that i didnt notice her getting closer..
She asked:" Lili are you ok?". I looked up (was stareing in the flames of the chimney).. i saw some sort of "shine" in her eyes.. if i think of it now, she looked so stunning.. the light of the flames playing over her face, a cute halfworried smile on her face.. I replied:" yes im alright.. just thinking about what you asked.... sabrina, are you into girls?".

She looked at me, i could see how she searched for words.. "There is something i need to tell you." she started.." well i.."- she got panic, i could feel it. i huged her, said:"whatever it is, it cant be this bad to panic honey, calm down". Some minutes passed by, she got calm again..

She looked so cute, totaly shy searching for words still.. somehow a warm feeling got up in me.. something else than friendship.. it was really new to me there and it confused me a bit..

She started talking, didnt look me in the eyes.. looked at a point behind me..
"Lili... i love you.. more than in a friendly way....."..

I looked at her.. was speechless, i didnt think about this ever before.. i turned and looked in the flames again (i know it has been cruel s:) sabrina got closer again i could feel her hand near my should but she didnt touch me.. i said:"No worries honey.. i just didnt expect this..".
She turned aswell.. i could hear her breath pretty fast.. she also stared in the flames.. " i see" she said..

"How is it" i asked.. she looked confused, i could see it.. "how is it to be with a girl..?"..
She looked suprised, but also happy.. i think because i dont push her away, but ask how it is..
"Its.. awesome.. way more intense and romantic..., did you think about what i asked before?" .. "Yes" i replied.. She asked:"How do you think/feel about it?".

I searched in myself, to find the answer to her question.. "It feels.. unknown.. not bad.. definatly not..".
I could hear her gasp.. she lay her hand on my knee i could feel her hand on my skin and some sort of firework went off in me.. i cant explane better.. like a big boom ^.^....

I turned my head.. she looked soooo beautifull.. i've never noticed it before.. so cute and everything.. she again had that shine in her eyes.. Slowly she bend over.. the closer she came the nervous i got.. not in bad way nervous..
I could hear her breathing heavily.. Her lips almost touch mine but she stopped moveing.. there was like voltage betwin us.. something in me wanted those lips so bad..

I slowly moved over the last distance.. my lips met hers.. it was like a very big stone drop of me.. a chaos of feelings came over me, heatwaves raced through my body my mind was spinning.. I embraced her in my arms..
I didnt want that moment to ever end...

We slid down of the bench to the floor infront of the chimney.. she lay on me..
Her hand stroke my hair whilst our tongues played their game.. Her lips made their way to my neck.. caressed my shoulder.. i softly bit her ear..

We ended up falling asleep cuddling infront of the chimney.. Next day morning i woke up with her in my arms.. and it felt so great.. it felt right..

If i think back to that day, my body still is shaking...

We became a pair, our releationship last 7months and 21 days untill her ex killed her..

I dont know why i write this here.. maybe because i miss her so much? or because i want her to never be forgotten? i dont know..

Please comment what you think..

Kind regards Lili

xMiss you sabrina :'(x
Lilibit Lilibit
18-21, F
8 Responses Aug 26, 2012

So sad... It's good you still cherish your thoughts about her

thoughts about her is only thing keeping me alive at the moment. thanks for comment

Aww that's so sad.. Do you still wonder what would've happened if she was still here?

every day..

The one positive point to come away from this story is you had the chance to show both of your feelings and affections towards each other and some people may never act on them for whatever reason. It was a sad ending to what could have been a wonderful love story. Sorry for your loss.

thank you!

It was a sad ending, but im thankful for the time i was allowed to have with her..

What a very sweet but tragic story! I'm glad that you had these intense moments with your friend and I'm certain that the memory of her will live on in your forever! Sorry for the loss of you friend in such a tragic way xxx

Thank you riveria! I'm still sad about that I lost her, but I thank her every day for the great time we had together

I bet! I would die if anything happened to my best friend even though there is nothing sexual between us, I wish there was though and that sometimes makes me feel very sad as it's a case of unrequited love! xxx

Tryed to pm you... Doesn't seem to work s:

I just added you so now you can PM me ;)

1 More Response

I am so sorry for your loss. Truely. Please remember that your had a moment that most people only dream and no one can take that beautiful memory from you. She will always be a part of you.

aww thank you alot for your comment!! yes shes always with me and i wont let her out of my heart

Awww ): i know that feeling..

so what next for you?

how do you mean?

are you gonna follow this path of playing with girls?

Playing with girls?.. excuse me, i hope that i missunderstand what you want to say because what i read right now does hurt..

i meant having relationships with girls.

aah ok.. Sorry i read it wrong then ^.^

as i wrote in the other story i uploaded i fell for my best friend now.. (again)..
so to say it with your words, i will follow this path.. to me, the releationship with sabrina was way more intense, way more love and everything, than with my previouse boyfriends.. its different.. hard to explane..

i see. are you looking for a girlfriend in the near future?

well looking sounds so planned.. i wish iwould have a girlfriend, someone i love and who loves me.. so yes iam

May i ask why you ask?


5 More Responses

Wow....just wow....<br />
But it's sadly tragic end:(<br />
I'm really sorry for your loss.

thank you! really appreciate it!
.. it was a good time i had with her and it ended too fast.. but i keep her in good memory!

wtf!!sooo tragic..yourn story almost ripped my heart very sorry for your loss..but please do move on as life do goes on..take care and good luck..:)

thank you for your comment! i'll do my best to keep moveing ;)