Coming OutI've known for years that I was gay.
When I was in elementary school I always knew I was different but I wasn't sure why. It wasn't until I was in middle school that I realized why. I was attracted to girls. My friends would always be talking about what boys they thought were hot, and what not. I always just stayed quiet.
Throughout high school a few of my friends came out. I was so proud of them. I told one person, and that was my best friend. One drunken night at a party I had ended up kissing one of the girls who was out. She told everyone at school the following Monday. Embarrassed and confused as to why she would do it I reject any comment and told people it wasn't true.
My senior year I was recruited to an all Women's private school. Well known in the area for the majority of the students being gay. My friends started to wonder, but still I told them no.
It wasn't until my Sophomore year in college when I came out. All this time I was struggling with even saying the word Lesbian. Valentines day 2012 I decided to tell my parents. I drove home from campus and waited for them to be ready to talk.
I was sitting on the couch, my mother in the chair, and my father was standing with his arms folded across his chest. I sat there and started speaking.
"You guys have always supported me throughout my life in everything that I've ever wanted to do, and everything I always liked"
at this point I had started to cry and forgot completely where I was going with the speech because I was so scared. I continued...
"I don't know how to tell you guys this.. but the best way to put it is, I don't like boys."
My mother looked at me with a face of disgust told me I was lying and that I hadn't dated enough boys. She then told me that I was settling for less. She sat there staring at me... like I was the worst person in the world.
My father started asking me who I was dating, if I have dated girls, how long I've known, etc. I couldn't answer much with my mom sitting there staring at me. My mom got up and walked out of the room. My dad gave me a hug and told me he loved me and that he would always support me.
I drove back to campus that night went out with my friends bought flowers for a pretty girl and called it a night. It was a few weeks before my mom talked to me again. My dad was texting me everyday to make sure I was okay.
To this day my mother and I don't talk about it. A few months ago I started seeing someone and changed my relationship status. She said "Well thanks for doing that, guess I'll have to lie to your aunts and say well we haven't met HIM yet." I just looked at her.
I have experience both sides. Negative and positive. If someone out there who is reading this is going through something similar, I AM HERE. You can always message me and we can talk about anything. If you are already out and still struggling just know that it gets better. It truly does. My mother may not support me, but my friends do, my girlfriend does, my brothers, and my father do.
All that truly matters is your happiness. Remember that.
Live your life for you. <3