Coming Out

hey,
I was reading pretty much everything on your website and I saw the coming out link. I've been out for a year this Tuesday and am VERY proud. But I'm moving soon, so by the looks of it I'll be coming out AGAIN, as if the first time wasn't enough of an experiance for me, lol. I figured I'd give back to the GLBT community though and tell some of my experiances about coming out the first time. On the way back from the National Drill Team Competion for JROTC I was writing sticky notes to this girl I had had my eye on the whole weekend. We were on the bus, to close and loud to actually talk to her. But I asked her how she had come out, and if she lost friends, or if her mother disowned her, you know the normal pre-coming out questions. After a couple of those kinds of questions she was like, why are you asking me about all this? Because just by looking at me you couldn't tell I was a lesbian. So I told her and she thought it was a joke til a week later I asked her out. After that day though, I told my closest friends, and went home to tell my mom. She said...whatever, okay...am I supposed to yell? I was like HELL NO! lol. I was so happy that she accepted me. As time progressed, I still had the LOVE of my life, 8 months and 9 days to be exact. Then things started to crumple about. At first I thought it was another girl, or she thought she liked guys. But I come soon to realize that my mom chased her away. Everything my mom told me since I was born was a lie. She never fully accepted me and HATED the fact that I had a girlfriend. She always talks about kicking me out, and that I'm a liar, that I won't do anything in life worth anything, and that nobody will want me because I "lied" to everyone in high school. Well news flash, I'm a lesbian, simple as that. I myself have come to terms with this for 3 years now and have NO intentions about going back in. Some pointers for new-bees, or closeted gays, REALLY think about it first. Try introducing your gay friends, and see your parents reaction. If it's bad, do what my best friend has done, and just tell your friends, don't let your parents find out. I know it hurts TRUST me, but it hurts most when your parents disown you and you have to live in there house until your 18 or if they even kick you out. I'm proud, trust me I really and totally am, nobody on this Earth can say otherwise, if you knew me you'd know. But my advise goes down, to deeply research it first, and get some information on PFLAG and other parent support groups for your parents first, so they have other parents to talk to it about. Good luck, I hope yours is/was better than mine.
 
Sincerely,
Melyssa

SimplyMEL SimplyMEL
18-21, F
11 Responses May 4, 2007

Did you notice Shadowman doesn't have any friends?

I'm not a lesbain. I think your mom should except for who you are. I think people should expect you and others like you the you are. You are not different than rest of us. <br />
Power to you. You have fun with your girlfriend. She is the love of your love. You remember this.

God can sit this one out on sexual orientation. I told him that about myself. Yanno, love is love and as long as they're learning to love, what the hell do you care? We're not asking you to become bi, trans, gay or none of the above. It's your choice alone, SHADOWMAN5150. <br />
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God, what a douchebag.<br />
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Anyway, kuddos to everyone on here for sharing, except for that idiot.<br />
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I thoroughly enjoyed the advice and the story. My mother was very accepting of bisexuality, but my dad would not be and I'm not going to even go there with him.

I agree with didimarjeta, Shadowman5150 you were really nasty to Simplymel! <br />
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I, personally think she did the right thing and has completely the right attitude. She knows who she is, accepts it, isn't afraid to say it, and is proud of who she is! Well done Melyssa! <br />
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I'm heterosexual, but at one point, I thought I was bisexual. I was in love with my boy friend, who was having huge family problems, and I was so worried they would prevent us from seeing each other. In a dream, he was a girl (it was normal in the dream- you never notice things change) and we were on love, and I must have changed the fear of his parents keeping us apart to gay marriages being illegal from keeping us apart. They were actually legal in reality, but I'd obviously forgotten. When I woke up, I thought it very odd, but I understood what it's like to love another girl. I still remember the feeling. I'm not in love with the boy anymore- we broke up 8 months ago and I'm with another person now, but I'll never forget understanding lesbians. <br />
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And CitySky, I think you must be an amazing mum. Your daughter is lucky to have you as a mum. When I told my mum I was unsure of my sexuality, whether I was bi or hetro, she told me she didn't mind and dad and her would support me no matter what, which I appreciated. I had my doubts as to how they would take it, but they're not the sort of people to shut me out. My mum's the most compassionate person I know.

Shadowman, you're not keeping it real, except really offensive.<br />
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You obviously have zero ability to put yourself into the situation of others and see/feel what they are going through. You are living proof of why coming out is so difficult and painful.<br />
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Moreover, you say that you are not religious, but then immediately bring God into the discusson. That is hypocritical. It is also intolerant since you implicitly assume that your definition of this God you say you dont believe in (yet impose on us as a judge) is the only one there is. <br />
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I am not religious either, but I have many good friends who are whose concept and definition of God is inclusive not exclusive: a God who loves all of his/her children regardless of their sexuality, race, or anything else. <br />
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I am sure that you have secrets, or aspects of your life, that you don't want others to learn about. Secrets that would make you scared and/or ashamed to have found out. (If you say you dont you are lying to yourself and to this God you say you don't believe in - EVERYone has secrets like that). <br />
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What SimplyMel has done should be applauded, not mocked and derided. It involves doing something you are obviously afraid to do: look inside yourself, figure out who and what you are, and be brave enough to be yourself.<br />
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One day something will happen that will make you grow up and realise the truth of what I am saying.

Your a damn fool for real. Making a big story about "coming out". LOL How lame. Shows your maturity. First of all, I am not religious BUT explain to "God" about coming out....good luck with that!! You only live in the flesh and that makes you obsolete. Sorry so blunt but I don't feel the need to beta around the bush. Keepn it real as usual.

wow, kudos to CitySky! you're what being a parent is all about! how incredible of you, and you're so strong, i just love that you excepted your daughter like that and incouraged her to be herself! you're wonderful! I'm truly thankful to know that someone like you exist! Truly!

I love bisexual, gay an lesbian people. am a bisexual maself lol

I think you got alot of guts. But thats a good thing, it only takes one brave one for others to do the same. Well, good luck with everything = )

My little sister wears comfortable shoes, and she is awesome, and so are all of her friends. They were so sweet and supportive of my sister and I when our mother passed on.<br />
When I first began meeting them , I saw "lesbians", now I just see friends.

I am not a lesbian or anything but I have a very good friend who is and she hasent told her mom, and just wanted to aplauud you,<br />
Wow you are very brave and all that good luck,I hope you dont get in too much troble, lol.. Hope you find yourself a nice girl and you love eachother alot,..<br />
Love and light, will gide you to eternal happyness,Blessed be Phoenix xx