Becoming A Lesbian

I became a lesbian when I finally realized that I was not a man that I have been told all my life but in I fact I am a female from the inside and that I love women and women only. So guys sorry but this girl wants herself a beautiful, feminine girlfriend just like herself.
saraashley saraashley
31-35, F
4 Responses Oct 1, 2012

It's funny but there's times that I am very feminine. I like to dress up in skirts, blouses, dresses, flats. Just pretty much a complete woman's attire. But I don't feel any attraction towards men. I love women very much. I would love to be a full time woman and have a real woman for my soul mate. I'm a guy that loves wearing pantyhose and ballet flats every day. But from time to time I like being very feminine and so I slip in to a women's attire. So I guess inside of me I am a female. But I want to be with a female. I want to make love to her like it's usually done and of course throw in a few things in to enhance the moment even more. I also thought that I was the only one feeling this way. So now I know I'm not alone in this just like I'm not alone as far as wearing pantyhose and ballet flats. And I love the REAL ME!

Knowing who you are is SO liberating. Thanks for sharing this. I used to think I was the world's only lesbian in a manskin until I came here. Turns out there are a LOT of us. Known I'm femme since my early conscious memory. Never been attracted to guys. We DO exist, sweetie (but, of course, you already know that). Hugs, Ariella Michelle

Even though I know who I am, I am still coming to terms of what I am feeling and struggling to accept who I am and why me. This inner struggle within me is killing me from within. I have attempted suicide but of course I didn't die. Lately I have been so depressed that since this past Friday through today except Sunday I have been crying so much and in a fetal position. I have been asking the all important question why did this feeling inside the pit of my soul choose me. I know that being transgendered in itself chooses you and that I didn't choose it. I have been trying to see why I am transgendered by doing research and I am still searching. I have heard that when a woman is pregnant and her levels of estrogen are high then it goes to the males brain and if her levels are low then it goes to the female. But the one other thing that I do know like you I am not attracted to guys and I am femme and different from birth males. I am not like most guys, I am emotional, love girlie things like clothes, makeup, heels and talking, and shopping. From the clothes standpoint I love dresses, skirts, frilly tops, bras, panties, and camisoles.

One other thing that I absolutely adore is nail polish. I have painted my finger nails all kinds of colors like bright pink, metallic Silver, Metallic Silver, lime green, sun kissed orange which right now my toes are lime green and orange. But real soon my toes will be green and red you know for Christmas...

I love you being such a true lesbian!! I am 19 y.o. with many years of lesbian love ahead of me... we should talk about this on p.m. xxxoooxxx

What time on the East Coast? I work 4pm till 7 Eastern time.

What would you like to know about my being a true lesbian?

i don't get it, did you have some kind of operation?

Nope but I feel like a girl and when I look in the mirror I see a girl...Why do you ask?

are you a girl physically?

My body is more girly than a man's for the most part except one area...But I still more like a girl because of my girlish legs and feet and I have a petite boobs that are more natural...

i see. i think.

aguinaldo, it's not just about being a girl physically. Many of us KNOW that even if we don't have a female body, we're still women. And my experience has been that MOST of us have known it from a very young age. I first knew I was in a body that didn't match my gender when I was a little over two years old and I first tried to express that when I was four.

It wasn't until later that I realized I'm also a lesbian. I know that's probably hard for most people to wrap their head around because it's hard for those of us who are this way. It is what it is, though. I know precisely who and what I am. I refuse to allow society or the medical profession to hang the "gender identity disorder" label on me. That has done irreparable damage to people who are transgender, both in terms of personal acceptance and, worse, violence and hatred that are directed at us.

As I've noted in other posts here at EP, I pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs, wear my hair past my shoulders and more femme than not, and use clear mascara most days. Some days I'll wear a little lipstick and dark mascara, but I usually go for a more toned down but still decidedly femme look. I really don't have to do much. Like saraashley I have small, natural, almost B-cup breasts and sometimes wear an Ahh Bra! to give them a little more shape, but usually not. A few weeks ago I saw a friend I hadn't seen in several years. I wasn't emphasizing my femme side so much then. She kept remarking, "There's something about you that's different, but I just can't put my finger on it. You just look DIFFERENT somehow."

So here's how it shakes out for me: I'm a woman in a man's body. I know who I am and I'm OK with that, so NO DISORDER. I'm not and never have been attracted to men. I'm more comfortable with women in EVERY situation, from purely social to sexual. I LOVE being femme. I'm a lesbian in a male body. And I'm OK with that.

Sorry for such a long-winded reply.

i see.

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