I'm 20 And I Started To Think I May Be Lesbian

Hi everybody...

This may seem weird, but over a past year or so I have doubts about my sexuality. Since age 16 I dated guys, I have mostly been in longer relationship where we said how we loved eachother etc etc..

Since I was 17 I've been sexually active, but also with men. Though, I never had an ******. Sometimes I really enjoy sex, but sometimes I feel it's so much more to feel and I don't seem to get it.

Now I have a steady boyfriend who doesnt suspect anything. He says he loves me a lot, and he's also very dear to me, a best guy I ever dated and I could possibly want.

Stil...I feel I'm attracted to woman in a strange sense.

I've kissed few girls in my life, mostly out of excitment and drunk, and it was never sexual.

But when I'm alone in my room, I ********** on woman and I fantasize about them. I never have a need to think of men.

I have some fetishes connected to women, and weirdly, to pregnent woman i.e. the growing bellies. It turns me on like nothing else, but woman in general too.

I often fantasize about sex with woman.

Also, I often wish I was a man myself.

I can't tell this seriously to anyone cuz it's too weird, from everything they know about me.

Lately I seek lesbians on internet, like I'm looking for an adventure, but I don't ever really do anything. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend. I think I love him, but this attraction/fetish is really weird.

I guess I'm a bisexual, and maybe I should just accept what turns me on and make use of it :)
kukkuruzz kukkuruzz
18-21, F
13 Responses Dec 23, 2006

You may be bi and if you ever need or want to chat, feel free to message me cause I fully support u

far, far better to be honest about it all than to cheat. definately don't go with that thought of cheating. definately tell him instead. he might be devastated... but at least he won't be betrayed.<br />
<br />
keeping it all inside and not exploring it isn't really a fair thing to do either. you want to explore and discover about this, both for your own sake and also out of respect to your boyfriend.<br />
<br />
i thought i was bi. i had a boyfriend. he was the perfect boyfriend for me. but a boyfriend wasn't what i needed at all. it didn't end well because i didn't figure out soon enough what my real sexuality was. it sounds like you've been more perceptive than i was and have figured out that there's something more to your sexuality than you originally thought... so the best thing is to admit it, and discover it. if he truly loves you, like he says, then he might hate it, but he will nevertheless understand. maybe even appreciate the fact that you told him instead of keeping it inside.

I am not sure if this is what I would do, but maybe a ********* would help. You could explore your needs with a woman while letting your boyfriend watch, trust me, he will like seeing you with a woman. Remember, his ego is very fragile.

man whatever you do, be honest we everyone envolved. the last thing you want to do is initiate a relationship with a female and make her believe that you really really like women when you're not even sure yet, that **** hurts.<br />
p.s. speaking from experience of the hurt side.

Your story doesn't seem weird at all. It's actually normal for most people. Don't worry about labeling yourself as a "lesbian" or a "bisexual", just focus on which feelings feel the most normal to you. Exploring your feelings for women might not be a bad idea, so atleast you can know where you stand. There are so many people out there who wonder "what if", don't be one of those people. But if you do explore your feelings, I would talk to your boyfriend first =) Good luck!

before you say or commit to anything make sure in your mind that thats the way you feel,for yours+your boyfriends sake,if u were not in a relashionship i would say experiment+see what floats your boat as it were.either way good look with it all,i know its not easy+involves sum soul searching,but in the long run you will be happy when you find out who you are as a person sexually

sara very good point, thats where i think im at. with someone that thinks she's supposed to be with men and all her thoughts are with women.

I was with men too... one after another, some for a short period of time, one or two for a longer period. While I liked them and enjoyed the sex very much, there was always something missing. I have found that something with a woman. She and I clicked in a way that I had NEVER clicked with a man. I would STRONGLY encourage you to explore this side of yourself before you make a commitment to this man. You would not be fair either to yourself OR to him if you went into a marriage with him while you still had these kind of doubts about yourself!

girl i think my wife is just like you. she has keep alot in for her life, now 38 and all she things about is women, and boobs. she gets herself off thinking and looking at women and two girls is wow for her. I have talked about this with her and she denies everything. i have tried to get her to open up be real with herself. i have a story on EP where i'm looking for feedback from other women to see what i can do. Read my story and let me know. maybe we should hook you two up on some chat line and she could see that she's not weird. She was raised southern baptist and keep everything in. I'm ok with whatever, i just need to know if its going to be with me or not but i want her to be happy and it its going to be with a women then so be it. she is taken care of $$$, doesnt have to work and i feel she is settling. she really isn't intrested in guys or our parts. shes not called to want my organ. if you have any thoughts as well please. please let me know. thanks for asking your question you have to go with your guy, its the right thing to do, you MUST try and find out if another women does it for you. good luck and im if i can help.

Make it easy on yourself, just go both ways.....

definitely sounds like something you will need to explore. i also think you should be honest with your boyfriends about your feelings and these fantasies but it will hurt, and could mess up, your relationship with him.

dont wait. thats all I have to say. I had a fiance of two years when I tryied my luck with women while we were on a break... he never got over it. i am now happily gay and engaged again... but still. I loved him and he loved me... but I didnt enjoy lovemaking and he didnt enjoy it if I didnt... it ruined our relationship and friendship because I loved him but couldnt stop thinking of the other woman. Just make sure you dont repeat my mistake...

Thank you for your comments :) I'll just let the time help me decide ..