I'm So Scared To Admit It..

I'm not really sure how to begin this long story of how I feel and how my life is... For as long as I can remember I've had an interest in women. I have had many bf's (most of which were awesome guys), but I just never felt that special connection. I guess, in all honesty, I have been, and might even still be in love with my best friend.. I just don't know anymore. My feelings are so confusing because I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. I feel like I don't belong and dont fit in... I come from a very conservative family that thinks being gay/lesbian is like the worst thing in the world so I know if I ever even mentioned my true feelings I would lose them :( I'm in college now and just wishing I had someone to talk to about all of this... Just a friend that will be here for me and be non judgmental. If anyone out there is like that, or has experienced what I'm going through, I'd truly love a friend to talk to.
Lindz94 Lindz94
18-21, F
4 Responses Dec 2, 2012

I can totally relate my parents are the same way it's very difficult. I'm here if u wanna talk!!

well I can 100% relate to what u are going through I feel the same way for a female and have been feeling like this for her for quite some time now and she dnt know I have these feelings no1 does jus me and most days I feel like I'm going to explde cause I keep asking myself why? I have 2 children and was with a man for 10 + years and the connection that I have for was never there I'm scared to tell any1 how I feel because I feel like no1 will understand how feel I dnt wanna be judges this is jus hardest thing to deal with jus know how u feel and cnt express it to some1 I know what ur going through and if u wanna talk to me jus inbox me and we can talk it through no judgeing jus get what u need to say out in the open maybe we can shed some light on the situation!

Hey! I know how you're feeling. I went and I'm still going through the same thing you're going through. I'm in my second year of college now, but last year when I started school I had a really tough time. At the time, I was in the process of accepting myself being gay and I was also and I think I still am in love with my best friend. It has gotten a little better for me though because I came out of her and a few other close friends, however I'm not out to my family. And I haven't expressed my feelings to my best friend.. I know it's really hard because you feel like you cannot talk to anyone, especially your best friend because you have feelings for her. But I have to say that things will get better! Feel free to message me if you'd like!

I know how it feels, I am on the same side. :(