Yes, I Like Girls."You're gay!" taunted the other kids. "I know I'm happy!" I replied trying to act cool. I knew they were making fun of me and that comment hurt deep down, but I tried not to show it. We were all in grade 3, what did they know? "No, you like girls!" they said back. Looking back, I wish I would have listened to them. I spent 26 years trying to deny it. Growing up in a dysfunctional home all I ever wanted was the nuclear family. I spent 5 years in an abusive loveless relationship with a guy trying to be "normal". Little did I know how much I was hurting myself, holding myself back from the happiness I deserved. I always thought girls were more appealing than guys, why didn't I follow my instincts? It would have saved me from the feelings of self unworthiness. Self acceptance is my biggest accomplishment in life, when I learned to live life for myself. "Yes, I like girls" I wish I could have said it. I wish I could have stood up tall with my head high and said it with pride. I wish I would have gone with the girl who asked for my heart, instead of the string of guys I used to keep my "normal straight" image to fit in. However I've come to learn not to dwell on "I could have/should have", and focus on "I can/I will". I can accept that I am not "normal". I can look my girlfriend in the eyes and tell her I love her. I can stand up tall to my friends and families and tell them "I am gay". I will have my "nuclear family". I will have a wife, we will get married, have beautiful children who will love themselves and the life they choose to live, and we will have the white picket fence with a dog. I will never again live life on others perspective of normal, I live it for me.
unbreakabllove 26-30, F 2 Responses 11 Dec 24, 2012