I Am a Lesbian

My mother found out I was a lesbian about a year ago... She seemed fine with it. She met my gf and accepted her. But last year my gfs parents found out about me and her. They dont aprove of us at all. They are very religous and they say its against their believes. I am not alowed to come near their house. And her parents think we broke up. My mom supported me through this whole thing with her mother ect. BUT now my mother has shown her true colours. She told me that she doesnt aprove at all. She didnt want to hurt my feelings ect but if I continue to date my gf she will get a restraining order against her and I would never be able to see her again. This broke my heart. Since I was little my mom told me and my older brother that if we were to become gay one day she would support us all the way. But now she does this, what am I suppose to do now?? How do I trust her ever again. All she has been doing this whole time is pretending! So much for believing parents can understand.
Detta Detta
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 9, 2009

I think you mom is kinda panicking. I think Blue Moon's recomendation is right. Write her a letter or talk to her. Say how much she's hurting you and that you really love your gf. I mean being gay isn't easy and we don't need prejudice from family members. But it's very likely she doesn't know much about lgbt people and she thinks you can change and that you be happier if straight. Mothers always wan't the best for us even if they're wrong in their actions.
Anyway I wish you best of luck and if you wan't give us a follow up on your situation

I am really sorry you are going though all of this Detta. Don't write your mom off yet though. Parents aren't perfect and they make mistakes too. Your mom might be under the false impression that if she can just keep you away from your g/f that you will suddenly come out of this "phase". We both know that isn't how it works but also it's normally the same sex parent that has the hardest time when their child comes out. Maybe direct her towards PFLAGG meetings or websites? <br />
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Or maybe write her a letter telling her how you feel about her breaking your trust and withdrawing her support. Just a tip, stay away from accusatory language and concentrate on telling her your feelings.<br />
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And just that bit about the restraining order... they aren't that easy to get. Unless there is the threat if immediate physical harm to you or your family there is NOT a restraining order for "I don't like who my daughter is dating".<br />
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Good luck to you in all of this.