Still Sorta In the Closet...

I still find coming to terms with being a lesbian an incredibly difficult thing. It doesn't help that I've never had a long-term relationship, nor one that I would consider "real". Don't get me wrong -- I'm about 99% sure I'm gay. It's just that being alone in my struggles with myself makes it that much harder to deal with it all.

Another thing: My good friends all know about me, and so do a few of my relatives, but my parents still don't, and I have no idea how to tell them (even though they've suspected in the past). Is it strange that I don't want to come out to them until I actually have a concrete reason to, i.e. a girlfriend?

nosouvenirs nosouvenirs
31-35, F
6 Responses Aug 11, 2007

I am a bi female / lesbian friendly guy. My only daughter whom I love very much is a closet lesbian and my best friends are a lesbian couple.
Always be proud of who and what you are and always be happy! It sounds like you are an awesome young woman! You are young and find what you want.

Hopefully you will have the love and support of your family (parents) along with your friends.

My Friends

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/My-Lesbian-Friends/4322526

My Daughter

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/I-My-Daughter-Is-A-Closet-Lesbian/3925506

I would be honored and proud if you allow me to be your EP friend.

I realize this was posted, over a two years ago, but I am at the same place as you. I still like to keep around that 1% chance I'm straight. I need someone I'm in love with to prove the point. Trouble is I've foudn the person I just don't know if she feels the same way. If only everything were easy!

Yes, mothers can delude themselves thinking it is a phase - I did that. But, it wasn't a phase - or if it is it's of lifetime duration. Just remember - if we are lucky - 15 percent of our lives is taken up with sex even though we probably think about it a lot more than that. The other 85% of the person is just the same as anyone else with the same problems of survival, etc. So, parents shouldn't think that being gay is the be all end all of everything!

I don't think it's strange. In fact, I think it makes a lot of sense. It can be difficult for a parent to understand and/or accept the fact that their child is gay. Undoubtably, they will have questions... I think it makes it more real to them when there is actually a person in your life for them to integrate. <br />
<br />
I told my mom when I fell in love with a woman for the first time, and it wasn't until we were together for at least a year that she stopped thinking of it as just "a phase". :)

I actually went through 1 serious girlfriend and about 4 non-serious ones before I got into another serious relationship and finally told them.

no thats not strange it all. i don't plan to come out until i have girlfriend that I'm in love with