Hey all, this is my story about being able to admit to being a lesbian, and the strugle with the real truth that I had hid for many years.
I have know that I was a lesbian since I was 14 or 15 (now 28) but I never wanted/could admit it to myself or others. I tried to do the "normal & right" thing by either not being with anyone or being with a man. Well I found a man that I did love and still to this day love, he is one of my best friends and we (however wierd it sounds) still live with eachother. We have a two bedroom apt, and we do as we want. I was missrable in the relationship both sexually and mentaly, that it had put me into a downward spril of some major depression and I became a major ***** not only to my ex but to everyone around me. I knew that if I didn't do something about it, I would end up more than likely killin myself over it. I never got into having sex with my ex or any man for that fact, I just wasn't sexually turned on by men. I found them attractive, but didn't want the sex. So I would try to go to bed before my ex would get home from work at night, just so I would have to have sex with him....he would almost force sex onto me, so I would just give in and screw him. I new things needed to change and I was the only one that could change it. So I did.
On to the comming out, I only told my close friends that I was bi-sexual in Oct of last year, and I had my first lesbian experiance in March of this year. It was the most amazing experiance I had ever had. The sex was so inteance and amazing, never felt like that when I was with men. After that I was able to come out to all my friends and co-workers, but not the family. I came out to my folks in April, they are comming to terms with it and as long as I'm happy they are happy. I only have been with three women thus far, but have been with them on several occasions. I went to my very first Gay Pride this year and had the time of my life. I meet so many cool ppl and hot women, even hooked up with a fine woman, and we are still hookin it up on occasion. I'm not ready to be involved with anyone on a serious note yet, I wanna have some fun and be single for a while, since I have just gotten out of over a 3 year relationship with a man. I want to discover everything I can with women, before I settle down with ms. right.
I have never been happier than I am now. I can go out and do what I want and with whom I want....Yes I am very slective on who I will sleep with, I don't go out whorin around. I am D&D free and extreamly clean and well groomed woman, and expect the same from the one I hook up with. All my friends and family can tell that I am so much more happy and easier to be around now. I have changed my lifestyle but I'm still the same ol' wild and crazy person that I have always been. A tiger can change his life without changing his stripes, and so can we.
I love women and I let everyone know it, I'm very proud of who I am and what I am, and no one can ruine that feeling. I am a butch dyke...I have masculine features and dress masculine, and that is what makes me comfortable. I like my women more on the butch side also....that is all.