I Lie To Myself The Most...

Yes, I lie... but mostly to myself. I will take great pains to be clear and accurate with others but I'll feed myself lies like crazy. 

"Everything will get better - just keep giving/trying/hoping/waiting..."

"People aren't using you - they really do respect you..."

"You're happy - really!"

"She loves you despite what she shows..."

It is SO frustrating... it seems no matter what I tell myself, it is wrong. How do you deal with that?!

*sigh*

It brings to mind the fact that perception is a large part of reality anyway so maybe I'm just trying to shape mine into something I can stomach. All I know is I am too easily manipulated and the worst part is that I do most of the work myself. How could one NOT lie to themselves to cope with THAT?

The saddest part is that this fault of mine covers many others... because I actually tend to believe myself. 

:-(

gr0mblE gr0mblE
41-45
Feb 24, 2010