I Was a Very Morbid-minded Kid

I used to draw a lot of really badly fekked-up pictures. I used to have morbid fantasies all day. Used to sit on the bus on the way across town to school, and imagine little (invisible) lasers coming out of my eyes and chopping every pedestrian's head off. I used to imagine the blood shooting up in the air like a fountain as their heads rolled off. That's a really mild one, I had far far worse daydreams than that, starting from a very young age, like maybe 4 or 5 with like , locking-up / weird weird ideas.. I cnt write them here..

I'm pretty sure I am ok now though! Now I am only a LITTLE morbid like the title of the group!

demonizd demonizd
31-35, M
3 Responses Feb 22, 2009

I've always had very violent fantasies. I don't know why. I'm still a little morbid too, but not as much as I used to be. When you're a kid you don't understand the pain the death and violence cause as much. As I got older I learned sympathy and that helps to tone down the thoughts I have.

That's funny! <br />
I've never heard that song.. are you American?<br />
Yeah, I know a lot of it was just that I was a child and they can be less inhibited in their thinking. I was probably only normal in that way, I just had too may thoughts hat were derived from experiences I had been through. I say derived, because they obviously became quite unrealistic but they generally started from thing s that were quite real in my life, and, I guess I became ashamed of my self for having really over the top daydreams, they were disrespectful, more extreme and graphic and long than other people's (I'm guessing) and they did not fade quite as soon as other people's would have. Though NOW I have less of this than a lot of people who are considered "normal" so I think I must be fine, I'm like better at controlling my thoughts than a lot of people because I care to do so. I think a lot of "sane" people are complacent and allow "dark" thoughts into their heads.. they entertain such thouhts using the excuse "I have never had a problem, so it's ok for me"<br />
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That's just the way I see it. People enjoying sh!t that used to shock people.. not thinking "There's a problem if I'm no longer shocked by this sh!t." I gues I must be one of those religious nuts. I have been labelled hat, by people's generalisations.. but i's not about that for me.. I worry about the sleep-walking people, but I don't go around shaking them like the Christians do. I leave the occasional log in their path, and that's all.

I used to walk to the bus stop singing that song "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinnochle on your snout; your eyes fall out, your teeth decay...etc" <br />
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Yeah...I was also much more morbid as a kid. ^_^

Please do not leave any more malicious comments on this story. It is not funny for me at all.