I Hate How My Husband Makes Me Feel..

I am 23 years old, my husband is 48.

When we meet 4 years ago things were so different, he cared about what I had to say, he payed attention to me, he chased me, he was thoughtful and caring and sexually attracted to me, he helped around the house and was the most amazing man I had ever meet. That was then.. but 2 years ago everything changed, a mental illness in my husbands daughter (we are a blended family) caused a huge rift in the house, he did handle and couldnt deal with her extreame temper. Then he got depression, and I was told after having our son I had PCOS and it caused a 20kg weight gain.

I asked my husband why he didnt want to have sex anymore and he said it was because I got fat, this is something i have never forgot it broke my heart, he looks at thought skinny women, and its not like I am HUGE he doesnt kiss me anymore, he doesnt even look at me, he wont talk to me, he doesnt help around the house and he doesnt copy with the problems his daughter has.

My heart breaks every day, he yells and gets angry over silly things like if I watch a tv show that he does not like.

I have always had a low selfestem, and he always worked hard it give me one, now its like he loves seeing me hurt and pulling it all back down.

I hate the way he makes me feel about myself. I Hate myself and my body.

mrsrobo mrsrobo
28 Responses Aug 15, 2009

cal me 9900454136

Why u think in u fat U jast in enjoy ur life k u talk with me cl this no 07829245915 and Ur life colorfully

I've been there infact in there right now someone who makes you feel it would be better to hide or starve yourself or disappear all together my bf is obsessed with anorexic girls and **** who won't touch me unless he's drunk and thoroughly turned on by **** or his ex even before hand. I don't know what to say as positive support because I'm there and feel just as bad. I do hope things turn for you or that he comes to his senses

Hi, I feel the same, I've been married for 6 years, have 3 kids and work full time. I have supported my husband for the last 2 1/2 years while he was at home. I work full time, pay all the bills, sort out all the money, practically hand him a job on a plate, sort out all his self employment documents (just to get him into work). I've had to sort out childcare which I drop them off and pick them up after work. The children (10) (4) and (11 months) keep on at me, mum can I have this...can I have that...I want this..i want that. I can't catch a break! Sometimes I want to just scream!!

My husband doesn't pay me any attention, sometimes just a hug or kiss I feel would make me feel better. I'm not even depressed at work but as soon as I go home, I switch! I don't know why, I just feel like I cant do everything! my brain is on overload. I feel bad if I want something for me even though my husband can just spend what he wants when he wants. If I want to get my hair done, I would love him to say go on then darling! but no!...just wait for this or just wait for that! but it never happens and I feel myself straight away going. Okay!

I feel overworked and unappreciated at home with my husband and the children.

I even get upset and he wont even look at me, comfort me. Just ignores me! He make me feel worthless and I resent him for that! its so much hard work... :(

Iknow exactly how u feel. I too am the breadwinner and also take all the kids to and from school. Come cook and clean. But made to feel like i still dont do enough. A his small check goes to is child support for his kids.

Aurat moti ho ya patli always she is beautiful and adorable loveable I'm samee wanna be my friend

Your so young. He is too old and grumpy for you. Leave him...you do not have to live in an environment surrended by crazy plp like him and his daughter. Runnnnn!!!!! My sister married a guy 28 years older that she was and her life was hell too. Then she met the love of her life and she is very happy and not skinny at all. She is a very happy curvy woman surrended by love.
You move on with your son and be happy.

I will be attracted to you Ifeel the same way my wife just reads all the time

Leave him.. sorry. You can hear my story on my page. I hope everything works for the best for you hun.

Leave him. You are in an abusive relationship.

Don't hate... All u hve to do is put a brave face n show him u r not hurt... U try change ur attitude. If he is yelling try to stand up to him... Never cry infront of him. He'll come around. Just try different things to say u still love him.

You're beautiful in the Mother's eyes and she will bring balance to your life.

rsraj424(at)gmail(dot)com, raj 28 yrs a cool boy going for divd. plz contruct me !!

I've been married 47 years. Get rid of the mother-ffff..... Nothing good can come of this poor lifeless *****...

I am from lucknow listen dear hating yourself is not the solution.<br />
read my words please and think yourself. <br />
everyone has the right to live happily but sometimes it is not possible <br />
So my friends be happy and do fun what you like ...<br />
As i am doing if your husband don't bother you. <br />
You do yourself.<br />
for help call 09807639081<br />
Thanks <br />
god bless you

Regardless of how much weight you might of gained, if your husband loved you he would love you no matter how skinny or fat you are. For your husband to tell you he does not want to have sex with you because you got fat,well........... it's a form of emotional/verbal abuse. Girl own them curves. Dress yourself in some nice and sexy clothes, flirt with other men, hold your head up high. Don't let anyone, especially a man, make you feel bad about you! Your husband sounds like he is trying to control you by his mind games. Remember YOU have what men want!!!

my husband treats me the same way .i too gained weight from an illness and believe me my self esteem is so low.he ignores me ,won't have sex with me and makes me feel stupid.he always wants to keep me down.i just try to get thru everyday by talking to god and being grateful for my son.

get rid of the bastard. ur still so young and nobody deserves that. nobody, no matter wut u look like ir dont look like.

hi talk wiyh me 0094773471646

Believe me. If I could chop his balls off I would. Men are very controlling and a "fix it" species. If they can't fix it then they think that they are a failure and they've lost all control on the situation at hand, so my counselor says. Men are definitely different. If this man that you've promised "for better or for worse" treats you like ****, then maybe it's best to give him a dose of his own medicine. Get all dolled up, get your nails, toes, hair, and everything done, don't tell him a thing about where you are going, say you are going out with girlfriends. Give him a reason to miss what he's been abusing. You are worthy of NOTHING but LOVE, the truth, honesty, compassion, and loyalty, if he can't give you that then be A STRONG WOMAN and be done with that....move onto someone who APPRECIATES you and you alone, not the THINGS about you or what you do.....

never feel bad about yourself,keep your hesd up always and love yourself.god loves you so you love you ,all he is mad about is he cheating on you and trying to keep you down.pick youself up and have fun get into god ,and talk with him,walk with him tell him all your problems .i have been there done that and now i know my lord.

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I know what your going through my husband treats me badly , always puts me down , does not want me to have friends i am torn from my family he is a very mean man i have never seen someone so mean before we have been married for 9 years i am now 31 he is 49 I think he is mentally ill verbally abusive and narcassistic maybe skitzophrenic I am tired of trying when I feel alone anyway he findssomething wrong with everyone he comes in contact with unless they go along with his agenda my hapiness and well being are no concern to him I wish I were stronger in the past maybe I could have been free from him along time ago .

I understand your feeling and I encourage you to work on yourself to bring up your self-esteem. You can do that with lots of ways , take care of your self and try your best to looks good. Don't give up .<br />
My husband is the same way, he tries to put me down all the time. I think this is because he thinks from the first time I am too much for him. He always abuse me verbally and make me feel bad about myself. Another way to feel better is that sometimes put yourself in your husband shoes and think about the problems he has ( about his daughter) and maybe this way you feel better. Good luck.

I am in the same boat as you, but i learn that the only person that can make me happy is me. I do not depend on my husband anymore to make me happy. My kids make me happy. Seeing them laughing and enjoying life makes my day. You need to find things that make you happy. I learn that i enjoy planting flowers and gardening. I also like to take pictures. You need to sit down and find things that you enjoy. You need to also get yourself involve with people who can lift you up. Having someone to talk to makes all the difference. If you need to talk i am here for you

I know how you feel. My husband makes me hate myself. He always is saying how much of a horrible person I am. Yells at me all the time. Yells at TV shows I watch, and has a real bad temper. I feel fat, gross, alone. I want a husband that is kind and loving to me unconditionally, I would feel a lot better about myself. Yet, I have a hard time leaving. I left once before and was called horrible names for it. I was made out to be the bad one for trying to better my life.

The secret to a long and lasting marriage is no two fall out of love with eachother at the same time! But I am sure that he still loves you maybe he needs your support too.

Friend, you need to find your Fire for yourself.<br />
example, if he yells at you for something that isnt your problem - yell back. Tell him his anger is inappropriate<br />
and that he is ruining your place of peace, your home.<br />
Everytime he gets angry, tell him to go outside and use a punching bag.<br />
YOU have feelings too, and you have a right to live in a peaceful calm envirinement to enjoy a haven away from the world. HE is ruining the most sacred thing called Home.<br />
You have to get your back up, and demand he stop. <br />
Tell him it is making you unhappy and if he is so unhappy with you, and he thinks its YOU. <br />
Then HE needs to make some life decisions fast.<br />
IF you continue to let him rule in this way, I can guarrentee he will escalate the anger, he needs help.<br />
IN this way, you are helping him get over it.<br />
You need to be the adult here, and show him the way.<br />
You are so young and vulnerable because he is older, and got to tell ya, men can be the babies...so take control of this awful situation. Tell him if he does not wish to stop browbeating and pushing you around, you will have to seek a divorce. You have a right to be happy.<br />
Your eating too bc its comfort he is not providing. Take control of your appetite. tell yourself food can wait...<br />
Good luck an best wishes.

Non of the problems he is having with himself is your fault. You have to realiza that he has low self esteem to and the way he feels better about his life is by making you feel bad about yours. I am not saying leave your husband but find your own happiness inside yourself and others around you will notice it. As others notice you will begin to make new friends and associates that will make him seem oblivious. He will then notice and turn the love and attention he used to have back on you. Big or small you are still a beautiful woman so never let him break you!