Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

The Loneliest Person In The World?

I am a loner, not by choice.  I have always gone through life without any friends and without any support.  I am introverted so much that this is in fact the first time I even shared my experience with the world due to my over-cautious nature, so hello world. 

I spent my life playing games to escape the boredom and depression of my life.  I always feel depressed whenever I think about my life - no friends, no romance, etc.  At this age of 24, the prime of life, it seems like nothing could be worse living in the oh-so-great US-of-A.  I have never had a single female friend, so seriously, for a male, life could not get any worse.  Altho I am not the most handsome of men, I never considered myself 'ugly' (on the outside or the in) and I am not just saying that because it's me I am talking about.  I can confidently say this. 

I do however have medical conditions which affects my appearance; these problems known as eczema/dermatitis and psoriasis.  How unfortunate I have been to have myself born with this combination of skin diseases on places so visible for the public to see, namely on my hands, neck, and even at one time, my face.  My entire life has been scarred by this non-deadly, non-contagious disease, making everyone fear me and stay away.

The last time I made a friend was when I was 11 years old although in reality he was the one who chose to be my friend.  How can this be normal?  Even many lonely people on here have made friends along the way either at work or school, but me... it really seems so bewildering, so unrealistic that I would be unable to befriend another human being on the face of the planet for the next 13 years of my life.  I never asked for life to be this way for me, I never asked to be such an introvert, and I never asked to be born with such a terrible skin condition that affects my everyday life.
TheHypocrite TheHypocrite 22-25, M 16 Responses Jul 15, 2010

Your Response

Cancel

Not sure if I “spelling out” how and why I am so lonely OR should start being supportive and tell you why you should take it easy.
I had this thought of “the loneliest man in the world” for some time now. Although not 24, I came from the middle east from a large family. Spent many years “pleasing” everyone around me. I thing I have too big of a brain for my own good but I can’t “shut it up”. Too many relationships and at the end, high expectations let to too many disappointments. I got to a point where I stopped trying. Many women but never open up. No friends. Moved to a new city at age 43 due to work and I find myself not “trying” any more.
The “closest” conversations are the ones I have with my ex-wife. I don’t like her but I don’t hate her. Used to be a “party animal” and loved drinking “till I drop”. Not anymore. Relationships…ohhh… so much work and so pointless rewords. Not gay but I really dislike girls. I just work, smoke, sleep and take care of my ex as much as I despise her incompetent and lack of drive, heck, I lack drive. what am i to do?

Dude, I also belong 2 ur category n I also do the same thing that u do.i.e playing games, but I dont have the disease which u have as I m physically normal..In this competitive age, it is really important 2 b socially connected, but for guys like us its really an uphill task 2 get socially interactive with people and maintaining contacts..But such is life!! Even I dont feel like the world is not good enuf for me and I also dont feel like living in dis planet anymore n that too I m living in India, a country of more than 1 billion n still feel that I hv noone 2 interact wid...But sumhw u hv 2 deal wid it n get moving on...Even though I m active on Facebook, but I still feel like I m unwanted...So, dont think that u r the only one who is lonely in tis world.. be happy n enjoy life...dats wat I can tell u as a fellow loner!

Dude, it may be hard for you to hear this, but you are not the loneliest person in the world. Take it from a fellow angsty 24-yr old woman with a Borderline Personality with Asperger's features, not to mention acne vulgaris since age seven.<br />
<br />
A good psychologist will tell you that your greatest pain surrounds your strongest suit. For instance; I have been taken advantage of for years due to having the rare gift of true human kindness and compassion (not for being weak or stupid!). And upon realizing this, I was able to utilize this gift to my best potential and help others, thus building my confidence and adding fulfillment to my life. Maybe you should see a professional if you suffer this much. I must warn you though, changing your whole thought pattern is no walk in the park. But as Leonard Cohen said himself, in his own poetic way, tis a beautiful walk. So remember, compare and contrast your pain and your strengths. I only wish you will be able to tell the difference, though it may be difficult at first. Good luck, my friend :)<br />
<br />
http://www.disinfo.com/2010/09/the-loneliest-man-in-the-world/<br />
<br />
This is a link to a story about the loneliest documented man on earth. The sole remaining member of the Amazon tribe living in isolation, building palm huts in Brazil. Maybe you'll find this as touching as I did.

Life is hard. But do not look into the past too much. That was one of my problems. Until I realized life is how you see it to be. Look ahead and change your way of thinking. Get a job or take classes in something. Train your brain. 24 is young and your mind will change throughout the years. There are plenty of people with far worse problems out there, even with friends. So stay strong.

It seems odd that I have chosen and desperately wanting to be alone all the time.. The first step for you is to reach out. It might not be long enough, until someone comes to reach back. In this socially demanding era, people interact ba<x>sed on profile. But don't lose hope. This is the part where faith comes to give you what you just need.

Twenty four is young, so lack of experience certainly plays a roll. There are some simple basics you can start with, a personal inventory, honest, but not self depracating: weight, grooming, hygiene, dental hygiene and body aroma. Check those before you think the worst of people. Second. Smile at people wherever you go. Say "hello" and make eye contact. With men you can offer a hand shake, yes, even to a stranger. Open with something generally agreeable after stating your name. Weather is always fair game, sports follows and then current events on the news, stay politically neutral, be open to differing views, no need arguing with a stranger. Finally, if you can find time: join something, a church, a campaign, a non- prof. You soon be on your way. But be patient...ditto for advice on time. And read articles on effective communication skills.

One more thing. If you think the "good ole' USA is so bad" Move your rear end out. Try Afgahistan a place I have been then dis my country you sorry little whiner.

You miserable little *****. You know nothing of lonely. All these comments are all so touching from people who know nothing about your plight. It's a sad fact you got dealt a lousy hand, man up and deal with it. It won't be easy but the best reality is the truth. They say it hurt's "they" were right. All of us wish you the best but take it from a guy well over twice you age and ten times your misery there is always hope. Just grow a scrotum and deal with it the best you can. All these fine people with there caring advise are only glad they are not you.

Ok, something else is going on here... Lots of people have eczema/dermatitis and psoriasis and still have an active social life. I worked with a guy who had pretty bad psoriasis and none of us were bothered by it. We knew he had it, but it didn't affect how we felt about him - in fact, I was quite fond of him and still think fondly of him to this day. <br />
<br />
I'm not trying to diminish your life challenges, just trying to understand more about you and your situation. <br />
<br />
It sounds to me that you are depressed. There is a sense of hopelessness in your writing, which is sad for one so young. I'm sure you've heard all the standard responses about how you shouldn't be feeling this way at your age, and blah-blah-blah, so I won't add to them.<br />
<br />
The bottom line is that you are lonely and you don't feel motivated to do much about it. Ok, so, let's move on - *what* do you want?? What do you want out of life?? And *what* are you willing to do to achieve what you want??<br />
<br />
A social life does not fall into one's lap. Even when it appears there are those who do nothing and have a flock of friends, that isn't the case. A social life does take some work and investment of time and energy.<br />
<br />
If you want friends, now is the time to find them. No time like the present. If you are willing to do some work, you can have a social life. It means you will have to reach out, to stretch your limits a bit, to step into territory that may be out of your comfort zone.<br />
<br />
And also realize, that friendship is something that takes time. It's not an instantaneous thing. It requires nurturing to grow and blossom. You must plant the seeds of friendship and water them and tend to them over time, like a garden. Some will not take root, but others will. :-)<br />
<br />
You remind me of a young person I know - a good person who is also somewhat of a loner. I can tell you, it is within your power to change your life. It may not seem like it right now, but in 2 decades you will look back and say I was right. <br />
<br />
Make changes *now*, a step at a time, so you can grow your life into something you truly like. It's not too late - not by a freakin' long shot!!

well i've been a loner for quite some time now. i avoid most people especially girls most of the time.. i only talk to girls on chat. i've always wanted a girlfriend but i try so hard and i hit rock bottom all the time and i'm sick of it. now i try to repel girls or anyone for that matter by looking the worst i.e having a big beard and stuff , wearing old worn out clothes and just not talking to anyone unless they want to ask me something. i act like i have never met anyone of them. sometimes i feel bad but other times i just sit in front of my pc and do some programming or listen to music or watch movies. most i sit in front of the pc the whole day except when i'm sleeping. so my life pretty much sucks.

I have wondered the same question about myself, actually. I have always been introverted and I was raised by a single parent with very low self estreem. I try to be myself, but I have been rejected by my peers so continuously its maddening. I've tried and tried, moved from place to place trying to meet new people, adapt to different lifestyles, but most of the time people just think I am trying to hard and it annoys them. So I've always been very alone. Trying to solve my lonesomeness hasn't done much but exacerbate it. Sometimes I really love the freedom that comes with being so alone. Other times I think I'm in hell on earth. What to do what to do.

You are definitely not alone. I can only offer words of sincere encouragement . I am on my 30's and going through a very difficult time with a love one who is extremely agoraphobic and depressed. Imagine having to go through life struggling most of the time. Do not get me wrong. I am thankful to God's almighty blessings; may it be small or big. I know there is much more significant problems in our world today; poverty, oppression, slavery, human trafficking, corruption, racism (Just to name a few). One thing I could not deny though is failing at pretty much everything. No great love to call my own, No friends, Families that degrades me constantly due to diffirent beliefs, No Dream Career (Though I do have a job which I am thankful for), No financial security to rely on, No House to call my own, Not even a car! Thank God for sustenance though..that is something I can afford and still hopefully continue to do so. My intentions are not to make you feel even worst--- but to inspire you. Bear in mind that no matter what happens you can count on God to carry you through this. I am not the most religious person. But I do know that you can ask him to carry your heavy laden burdens. I will pray for all of us LONELIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD STRUGGLING THROUGH LIFE'S TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS. I pray that we all have the courage and strength to endure all of this. Most significantly, I PRAY FERVENTLY AND HOPE THAT WE WOULD NOT EVER LOSE OUR SPIRIT AND HUMANITY TOWARDS OTHERS.

Did you ever try applecider Vinigar on your skin, I helps for a lot of skin problems, really.

I know it can be irritating having eczema - I've had it serveral times on my arms - but really, try not to let it affect you so deeply. I think our reactions to our conditions and life circumstances significantly influence how others see us and our circumstances. If we act as if it's no big deal, then chances are most other people won't think it's a big deal either. And the ones who do? Well, who needs them anyway? Eczema will not hinder your love life or your friendships. I've had eczema and I've had boyfriends and dates whether I had it or not. One of my closest friends has psoriasis and she has no problem dating either. And one of my other friends - who is a man - has eczema all over his hands and arms and he has a wife, a child, and a flourishing business. It's not so much the condition as it is what you make of it.

You just have to try, even if it seems to hard. Good people won't shy away from a person from pure appearances. I recently got eczema and someone that I didn't know very well at all actually helped me with it. Don't be sad and try!

Video games have been a great distraction for me too. Keeps me "busy" so I don't get too depressed when I'm lonely. I'm sorry about your skin condition. Its sad that people can be so shallow to where its kept you from making friends. I really hope some nice people come your way.