...but Never Lonely

When I was young (4 or 5 years old) my mother and I  (no father) moved to the country. Most neighbors were elderly and anyone my age live several miles away. My mother worked about 30 miles away and she was gone quite a bit. Of course, I had babysitters but they usually did their own thing, which made me happy. I spent a lot of time outside all times of the year (we lived in Northern Ohio).

As I got older, I realized I was the sort of person that would have one close friend. Naturally, I knew people from school, but always had one close friend. And if that friend wasn't around, I had no problem entertaining myself. And it has always been that way through my life.

Sometimes you will hear someone say they are a loner- but they're not- not really. But people like me truly are loners and I think one difference is we usually don't tell anyone about it (there usually isn't anyone to tell).

This is how I figure it: I came from a single parent home (my mother never married my father- very brave in 1959), in the country, with no brothers or sisters. And, too, I never regreted it. Yes, when I was young (8- 10 years old or so) I had thought what it would be like to have sisters and brothers and I had heard that my father did marry and had children. But I haven't seen him since I was 4 yearsold and really wasn't in any hurry to. And, anyway, I had my writing and my singing.

I guess what it comes down to is "true loners" don't think about being a loner- we just are. I hope I am saying this the right way without sounding too simple. I mean, it's just like the other side of the coin... If I were extremely friendly and outgoing, I wouldn't go around telling people how open and outgoing I am- I would show people. Again, I hope I am wording this right. I'm usually a "good" writer. HA! HA!
OldWoman1227 OldWoman1227
51-55, F
2 Responses Jul 17, 2010

I think you're an excellent writer, and I hear what you're saying. Loners tend to be quiet, low-key people, and therefore don't go around saying what loners they are, or, for that matter, saying much of anything. Also, loners tend to be by themselves most of the time, so, as you pointed out, there is no one to tell. You also made a good point that outgoing people get recognized for being outgoing a lot more than loners get recognized for being loners; that makes sense. If you're looking for validation, or reassurance that you're not some kind of a freak if you're a loner, I want to tell you you're OK the way you are. Don't try to force yourself to be someone you're not. If you would rather be a loner, that's fine. As long as you are happy with your life, that's what counts.

Hi. <br />
I think being a loner is not a healthy way to live. We really do need friends and family and understand this when in need of love, affection and help. Perhaps you are just masking your real feelings because you believe that as you grew up that way, that is your destiny in life. There is a famous saying that goes something like this "No man (or woman) is an island" <br />
Have you ever noticed that if you smile at someone 99% will smile back at you?<br />
I feel for you - take care.