Pretty Loner

i am really pretty (i am not trying to sound cocky) & people expect me to be the perfect girl, and then they talk to me.  I think all of the time and always say what i am thinking.  it is bad because no one want to hear it, or it offends them.  i also have epilepsy...i don't have full seizures but i have "episodes," where i pretty much just spaz out (they don't happen that often, but when they do i know people are freaked out).  i don't like talking about most things girls my age do (i am 21).  i talk to my parents all of the time because i really don't have anyone else to talk to.  i feel like i should just get back with my ex, who treats me like absolute crap, because i don't know if anyone else will ever like me....not just want to get with me.  i am a really nice person & listen to everyones problems....i wish someone would do the same for me.  i have had "best friends," but it is like i don't even know them...i am pretty sure they don't truly like me.   i feel like people hang out with me because they feel sorry for me.  the two people who do hang out with me are lesbians & im pretty sure they just want to hook up with me.  i used to just drink or smoke because i was bored, but now i don't do either.  I spend my weekends watching t.v., working out, and doing homework.  i really don't have anyone to talk to, which is how i ended up here.  i don't know why i am so different.....this guy told me once that it was like i was on a whole different level than anyone else.  i told my doctor i had a.d.d. so that he would give me medicine to slow down my thought process.. maybe i really do have it.  the only benefit of being a loner is that i get really good grades & have a really nice body because i work out all of the time....but what does that matter if no one likes me for me.  i wish i could just find someone who was like me : /   i am tired of being friendless...i wish i had a best friend, it seems so easy for everyone else.  thanks for listening.
nikkiautumn nikkiautumn
18-21
4 Responses Sep 25, 2010

Alright I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are...TRUST ME! Looking out for best friends n like minded ppl (loners) brought me here. I've got too many things happening within me but can't seem to find the way to extract them out coz I too am quite friendless with no one to talk to. So I guess we can help out each other with this. Let me know if you wanna talk sometime.

I agree with kay.this sites an outlet for me too.i wish there was an AA thing but for lonely people and not alcoholics.being open here on EP is one thing but to do it face to face with a person is very different.

You just gotta truly understand yourself, and be yourself around others. I've had others give me that advice, and honestly I didn't really understand them. <br />
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My best friend is my cousin, who is six years younger than me, and we hangout a lot. I think its because we understand each other a lot, and I guess he really sees me as an older brother.<br />
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Before I joined this website, a week ago, I pretty much had no friends my age or any other age.<br />
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I guess what I'm saying is that you need an outlet. It's great that you listen to other people's problems, but you need to be just a little selfish also. Share your problems and stories with others, then you'd understand yourself better. I guess that's why some people have therapists.<br />
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This website is a pretty good outlet. It was good for me, because it is like a therapist to me. You've got a community of people on this website, who are understanding and willing to help you. This community isn't judgemental or "internet bullies". I'm sure this website will help you tremendously.

You are a unique, special person who has a lot to offer. It is natural not to be able to fit in with, or relate to, everyone. I have often wished that I could find someone I could talk to, relate to, someone who is like me. Sometimes people just "click"; they somehow just understand each other. You won't have this experience with most people, and if it doesn't come naturally, don't try to force it. Don't try to be something you're not just to fit in. I truly believe that there is someone out there who wants what you have to offer, and is someone out there you can relate to; you just haven't met them yet. The good news is that you don't necessarily need to a lot of friends; just a few people who understand you and have some interest in your well being. Please don't settle for being with some so-called boyfriend who treats you badly; that is degrading to you, because you need and deserve better. You're not alone. There are so many lonely, confused young adults out there. It's hard to know what you want and who you are. You'll figure it out eventually. I try to share my "wisdom", such as it is, with younger people. I hope this helps.