Finding Myself

When I was in my early 20s, I had a period where I was confused about everything. Life, love, you name it, I was confused.
So I packed a few things in my pickup and headed to the mountains. I lived in Utah at the time and knew of a great place.
There was a mountain road that wound around and came back out but it was very rarely used.
I drove to a spot I knew and climbed a couple hundred yards to a cave.
There, I sat quietly until a doe showed herself. I shot her and hung her by her hind legs.
That was when I ate a peyote button and built a fire.
I spent the next six days eating nothing but peyote and venison. I walked the mountain and saw everything there was to see.
I slept in the cave in a sleeping bag and communed with nature.
When I got back in my truck and returned to "civilization," I had cured myself of all the confusion.
I immediately started putting my life back in order and cut off the fat.
I can think of nothing I could have done that would've helped me more than my week in the wild.
stankadiddlehopper stankadiddlehopper
51-55, M
18 Responses Apr 10, 2012

you're courageous! I would have turned back in the first one hour. I think people who can be on their own are confident and can do anything. I had an aunt who was the exact opposite. When she went in for a shower she would have one of her kids sit outside the bathroom door and keep asking her questions - she was mortally scared of being alone and also of dying in the shower and having no one to call upon for help in those last few minutes. She was in perfect health when all this happened. We should never give in such phobias. I admire you

Just wow. I wish I can do the same at my age. I feel stuck..

You can do something similar, unless you live in the city. Then I don't know how you'd manage to get away by yourself.

That and I don't know how to haunt. I just find your experience mind opening. Maybe what I need is some alone time so I can also start sorting out my priorities. I don't want to waste my youth.

That's what I meant. If you can find a place to be totally alone for at least one day, you may surprise yourself. If you do, don't take music, phone or anything similar.

I did somthing similar when I was15. I rented an old mans trapline in north west BC Canada in the fall. He told me a lot about how to trap small animals like Mink and Martin etc. I walked into the trapline area that was around a three mile long lake. I took nothing but a rifle , a revolver and my back-pack gear but not a bit of food. The traps and an old dugout canoe were hidden out in the bush near the high water line of the lake. I used that to run the trapline nearly every day, going north on the west side of the lake one day and south on the east side the next day. I trapped and lived off the land for four months and I did not see another human once. I built a bush shelter at both the south and north end of the lake and i managed alright all winter even through a snowfall of about 12 inches for a while. I have been pretty much of a loner all my life. That trapping experience taught me to be self care person, that I still am.

That would have been pretty cool, all right. You should write a story about it and share with everyone.

Do u take hallucinogens now?

I haven't for a very long time. Acid was my thing back then. But I also did peyote and 'shrooms. I loved to trip when I had the time.

Nice story

Thanks. And total truth.

A Cave in Utah

No. I'm sure this one doesn't have a name. It is on the side of an obscure mountain and there is nothing but desert in the view.

Are you talking about Timp?

I don't understand. What's Timp?

Guess not. You mentioned Utah

So what's Timp?

Very inspiring. o.o

Not bad! At least you managed to "find yourself" during your time in the wilds. Good for you! :-)

Good post. You have to get away from everything in order to do this.

That sounds awesome...sometimes I just want to run away....this sounds like something I would love to do....thanks for sharing....

A lovely story of learning to listen to the inner-voice. Thank you!<br />
<br />

Great story...glad it worked out

This is like a "right of passage" story or "a coming of age story."<br />
Sort of your transition from boyhood to manhood. Mother nature does have a way of pointing out the important things in life, doesn't she?

Thank you for sharing this. Sounds like a truly healing experience.

I must try this too.

I must try that lol

It truly worked for me.

Apart from killing the poor little doe lol

Somtimes just getting away from it all is the only way to find YOU!

It worked for me. I was a different person when I came down out of the mountains.