The Truth Is, You Don't Care.

I have no idea why I'm writing this, I should probably be out trying to make a good friend, but that's pretty ****** hard so I shan't be doing that. Honestly? I'm in a constant state of indifference. I can give the lint in my pocket about mostly anything. I'm a loner because........I don't know, a choice? Might have been forced into this by fake friendship and disillusionment. Love? Well let's just say it didn't workout. So I guess my indifference is from such a sudden collapse of this illusion, could be...I don't know... All I know is that I'm numb, emotionally I mean. I find it hard to put effort into a relationship. So instead of engaging in a social environment, putting up my fake face to counter their fake face so I can build a fake feeling of emotional companionship, I'm here, writing this. Even though this is it's equivalent. So yea, I guess I'm a loner because my lack, and the other person(s) lack of true empathy, and or, complete lack of interest, after all, it takes two people to put effort into building a lasting and mutually gratifying relationship. Specially when it comes to women. Who by the way like to put all blame on men, like if we are God and are responsible for any good or bad thing that crosses their paths, but I digress. Anyway I'm a loner and I don't care
JohnnyMilkshake JohnnyMilkshake
18-21, M
3 Responses May 16, 2012

Go meet ghandi, oh wait.............. Took alot of effort for those periods.................

trust me...not all women are this way. generalizing will pull you further away from finding people who treat you the way you deserve to be treated. my ex...left me at a complete loss...i put so much into him, into us...it hurts like nothing else but...i can't say that "all men will leave me" or else...ill push away those who wont. keep your head up soldier, and sometimes...fake isnt so fake, you're hurt that you are alone. it bothers you. trying to pretend you are loner by choice is fakeness too. so why not use the fake, to get something that could turn into real and genuine friendships after some time.

Thanks

np :o

and...also, i do not know if this applies to you, but sometimes...we seek those who treat us the way our parents had treated us as children, so if you were neglected, you may personify the person you enter a relationship with as the parent who neglected you, (since you might, without realizing it, be attracted to those with attributes similar to the people who have neglected you in your life) you may hope for them to love you, in effect, validating that you were worth your parents love as well. once again, dont know if this applies to you. the point is, the reason we are loners, and the reasons we enter into relationships with those who are bound to MAKE us feel worthless, are more obscure than we would like to pretend. use this time to search out what you are attracting into your life, why, and how to work it out.

basically...grow from this experience.

1 More Response

I am a loner too, but I do care even though I pretend not to in public. I know why I am like this so why I can't get out of it?

Well that's a question that rattles my noggin something fierce. How does one shake this feeling? My thought is to drop the pretending, care until your hearts content. Push myself into and environment I enjoy, and make friends with mutual understandings, and not just agree with the person either...But then again....My people skills are a tad rusty. So dont take my advice as truth. Brainstorm your own idea.