I Have Always Classified Myself As A Loner

I've always felt like an outsider. Maybe even socially challenged at times ha. I was always the one trying to stay away from any sort of social "clicks". I questioned it. I grew up as an only child for a very long time. As an adult, those same type of ideas that I once had carried over into my life now. Never been a loud person, just really reserved and observant. I wasn't much of a talker either. I am slowly trying to open up to people but being careful while doing so.
poetik1 poetik1
26-30, F
2 Responses May 20, 2012

I also hate people being mistreated and I definitely know what you mean about not being able to express things properly through speaking but find it really easy to write them down. Whenever my partner and I have a disagreement or arguement i always have to put my thoughts into a letter because I just can't talk to him effectively about it.. I don't know how to fix that

Its been the same way for me... High School, I was teased because as the kids put it... I was in charge of the "Whale Pod", not because I had a weight problem, but because I stuck up for a group that was fighting to control their weight, the group wasn't really my friends, they had their own internal friendship/click thing going on, but they hung out with me even though I was always distant, only saying anything at all when I jumped into protector mode. I don't regret it because I have always hated seeing others being mistreated, but sometimes I wonder if I would have "hung with the cool kids" if I would have become more socially adept? I feel like I have no problem writing things out, words seem to flow easily when I do, but when I'm talking face to face, every word that comes out seems to be an incredible effort... not that I don't want to talk, but that my head wont provide me with the words to do it? Its like a white board that's been erased, and someone just left a few little uncomplicated words in there just to taunt me...