My Real Life Fact , Iam Alone........... I Did A Biggest Mistake In My Life, Plz Suggest Me Wat To Do Plzp Pz Plz

hi my name is shakshi , n iam nt telling u any imaginative story but its all about my life n wanting ur suggestion in it its really imp for me so plz suggest me.
wen i was 17 year old i was in 11th standard year 2003 , started chatting on yahoo messenger , n meet a guy thr , he was very nice n loving person , he 7 year older thn me , but still we fall in love with each othr , iam frm raipur n he is from bihar but living in delhi for his studies , soon v became frnd n thn fall in love , he came to meet me aftr 8 mnths, july 2004 with lost of gift , he loves me so much very caring very loving , he came for 3 days but it was a new thng for me n tht time raipur was nt so big city so was very scared to meet him , so i went to meet him with my freind called sonali, we met , n i like him very much , v like each othr a lot , tht time i was nt having cell phn so i use to call him from std ,telephone booth, or sumtime h calls me on my landline no., we talk for 2, 3 hrs daily on std no. n came lots of bills n to pay tht bills i started stealing money from my home only , i lie with him tht the no is my no n its free so he doesnt knw tht iam stealing money for him , , its all goes on but in 12th board exam march 2005 , i got supplemntry in1 subject bcz i becme very weak in studies , my parents become very angry , i cried alots but still iwas just wanting to talk with him n in the mean time , my mom finds lots of love letters n cards , very romantic n lovely cards from my home , , i had suffers alot , but still in contact with him , n stealing money to talk with him , soon my parents realize tht money is stealing from home , but i still doing tht , i join college , but it was nt gud bcz of my marks , very downstnadrd college , igot only 1 frnd thr , his name was sahil , he was a handsum guy, i like him as a gud frnd but he is just wanting me to spend money on him , n parents started restricting me bcz of stealing of money , n at the same time , lots of calls coming in my home by sum abuse boys , thy were started sayng abuse words about me to my parentss, m i was become very disturb , bcz i was nt doing anythng wrong, i was just wanting to talk with my bf thts it, but bcz of these restrutions iwas moving far from my parents , i stared hating thm , n thght to live alone , n for tht i tried for 1 job , n i got tht job , i was very happy but was nt aware tht y i got the job wen iam only in 1st year , but i join tht job n lie to my parents tht i had joined sum coaching classes ,
in jan 2006 to join tht job was my lifes biggest mistake , the boss was a bastard , he started flirting with me , but i dint undrstnd it, even mujhe pata b nahi chala weni tried to kiss me , n touching my boobs n all , but
mujhe nahi pata wat happ to me , i was attracting towards him , he called me in home i went , he did sex with me first time , but i dint said anythng , i was knwing tht wrong but dnt knw wat happen to me i use to go his home on daily basis , he gave me sum soft drink but it was alchohol , n i drink with him , even the taste was worst , i just take 2 or 3 sips , n started vomiting , he did sex with me for almost 6 months for 2 or 3 times in a day , n twice in a weak,
aftr 6 month he left the job , but still i was in contact , he use to calle me hotels , cant call thm hotels they r the guest houses or say low class bar guest house , the places were horable ,, but i went thr ,god knws wat happen to me , i was knwing tht the places r very bad but stilli iuse to go , only god saves me othrwise police or any1 can find me out from thr , nstill imet with him for 1 year , tht time my bf my love come to knw tht iam enaged with sum 1 else , n the man was nt gud , he was marreid n having 4 year old son ,, he tries to convince me tht iam doing wrong, but i was so scared with my boss , so i said iam in love with him , not with my bf , but he was so gus , he tried again n again to save me ,to convince me tht man is nt gud , n thn he called my mothr n told her everthng about me n my affair , my mothr beat me alot n ****** my phn , but iam idiot girl i use to call my boss in nite at 2 pm wen every1 sleeps with my fathrs no.
n end my all relationship with my bf not tht boss , the whole thng were going on for 2 years.
in march 2008 i realize tht man is nt gud , he just want to do sex with me , he made my mms , n started blacmailing me , tht time i came in touch with anothr boy , ayush , he become my gud frnd, but my boss use to check my call details come to knw abt thts boy , n called himn askd himto nt to b in touch with me, n thn i told ayush about my boss , n blackmailing, everthng , he help me alot , he convince my parents to trust me , i went to police station to complain about him ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,aftr the efforts of 7 months.
then my life become little normal, n i decided to do mba , but thr r lots property mattr arises tht time n started disputes in my family , my uncle ditch my fathr , did fraud with him n v lost our shop , i struggle alot tht time for 1 year , n at the mean time i started mba , i came close to my parents , thy started trusting me , my frnd ayush started loving me , n even i was knw about it , but i never said no to him , but aftr a year in august 2010 i again came in the contact of my bf the nikhil, thrigh my frnd sonali , n started talking with him, we like each othr again for a year in 2011 , thn decided to get marreid , but my luck thy r lots of disputes n miss debates started between us , yes no yes no was going for whole year , but we was in contact we fight alot but still in contact , but any how i was wanting to b with him , bcz i knw tht he loves me alot , he cares me alots , more thn 1 , he is right person for me , but bcz he was from bihar n low living stndrd n non veg , i was confused to marry him , i was wantng to mary him , but scared about life style , alwaz misses him i was wanting to b with him , but lots of fight iam nt able to take a hard decision , n he is also confuse bcz of lots of fight n debates , now he is getting married to sum1 else , but he dnt want to marry with sum1 else n same with me , iwant to b with him only , he is my first love , n no 1 can take his place in my life , i love him alot , but iam nt sa matured to tackle the things i knw i cant live without him , i did a mistake but he accpt me with tht mistake , plz tellme he is getting marreid in novembr wat to do , shld i ask him to marry me or let him go on plz suggest me thts is my complete 8 years story need ur suggestion in tht n this is nt story thse r the fact of my life suggest me wat to do