My Real Life Fact , Iam Alone........... I Did A Biggest Mistake In My Life, Plz Suggest Me Wat To Do Plzp Pz Plz

hi my name is shakshi , n iam nt telling u any imaginative story but its all about my life n wanting ur suggestion in it its really imp for me so plz suggest me.
wen i was 17 year old i was in 11th standard year 2003 , started chatting on yahoo messenger , n meet a guy thr , he was very nice n loving person , he 7 year older thn me , but still we fall in love with each othr , iam frm raipur n he is from bihar but living in delhi for his studies , soon v became frnd n thn fall in love , he came to meet me aftr 8 mnths, july 2004 with lost of gift , he loves me so much very caring very loving , he came for 3 days but it was a new thng for me n tht time raipur was nt so big city so was very scared to meet him , so i went to meet him with my freind called sonali, we met , n i like him very much , v like each othr a lot , tht time i was nt having cell phn so i use to call him from std ,telephone booth, or sumtime h calls me on my landline no., we talk for 2, 3 hrs daily on std no. n came lots of bills n to pay tht bills i started stealing money from my home only , i lie with him tht the no is my no n its free so he doesnt knw tht iam stealing money for him , , its all goes on but in 12th board exam march 2005 , i got supplemntry in1 subject bcz i becme very weak in studies , my parents become very angry , i cried alots but still iwas just wanting to talk with him n in the mean time , my mom finds lots of love letters n cards , very romantic n lovely cards from my home , , i had suffers alot , but still in contact with him , n stealing money to talk with him , soon my parents realize tht money is stealing from home , but i still doing tht , i join college , but it was nt gud bcz of my marks , very downstnadrd college , igot only 1 frnd thr , his name was sahil , he was a handsum guy, i like him as a gud frnd but he is just wanting me to spend money on him , n parents started restricting me bcz of stealing of money , n at the same time , lots of calls coming in my home by sum abuse boys , thy were started sayng abuse words about me to my parentss, m i was become very disturb , bcz i was nt doing anythng wrong, i was just wanting to talk with my bf thts it, but bcz of these restrutions iwas moving far from my parents , i stared hating thm , n thght to live alone , n for tht i tried for 1 job , n i got tht job , i was very happy but was nt aware tht y i got the job wen iam only in 1st year , but i join tht job n lie to my parents tht i had joined sum coaching classes ,
in jan 2006 to join tht job was my lifes biggest mistake , the boss was a bastard , he started flirting with me , but i dint undrstnd it, even mujhe pata b nahi chala weni tried to kiss me , n touching my boobs n all , but
mujhe nahi pata wat happ to me , i was attracting towards him , he called me in home i went , he did sex with me first time , but i dint said anythng , i was knwing tht wrong but dnt knw wat happen to me i use to go his home on daily basis , he gave me sum soft drink but it was alchohol , n i drink with him , even the taste was worst , i just take 2 or 3 sips , n started vomiting , he did sex with me for almost 6 months for 2 or 3 times in a day , n twice in a weak,
aftr 6 month he left the job , but still i was in contact , he use to calle me hotels , cant call thm hotels they r the guest houses or say low class bar guest house , the places were horable ,, but i went thr ,god knws wat happen to me , i was knwing tht the places r very bad but stilli iuse to go , only god saves me othrwise police or any1 can find me out from thr , nstill imet with him for 1 year , tht time my bf my love come to knw tht iam enaged with sum 1 else , n the man was nt gud , he was marreid n having 4 year old son ,, he tries to convince me tht iam doing wrong, but i was so scared with my boss , so i said iam in love with him , not with my bf , but he was so gus , he tried again n again to save me ,to convince me tht man is nt gud , n thn he called my mothr n told her everthng about me n my affair , my mothr beat me alot n ****** my phn , but iam idiot girl i use to call my boss in nite at 2 pm wen every1 sleeps with my fathrs no.
n end my all relationship with my bf not tht boss , the whole thng were going on for 2 years.
in march 2008 i realize tht man is nt gud , he just want to do sex with me , he made my mms , n started blacmailing me , tht time i came in touch with anothr boy , ayush , he become my gud frnd, but my boss use to check my call details come to knw abt thts boy , n called himn askd himto nt to b in touch with me, n thn i told ayush about my boss , n blackmailing, everthng , he help me alot , he convince my parents to trust me , i went to police station to complain about him ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,aftr the efforts of 7 months.
then my life become little normal, n i decided to do mba , but thr r lots property mattr arises tht time n started disputes in my family , my uncle ditch my fathr , did fraud with him n v lost our shop , i struggle alot tht time for 1 year , n at the mean time i started mba , i came close to my parents , thy started trusting me , my frnd ayush started loving me , n even i was knw about it , but i never said no to him , but aftr a year in august 2010 i again came in the contact of my bf the nikhil, thrigh my frnd sonali , n started talking with him, we like each othr again for a year in 2011 , thn decided to get marreid , but my luck thy r lots of disputes n miss debates started between us , yes no yes no was going for whole year , but we was in contact we fight alot but still in contact , but any how i was wanting to b with him , bcz i knw tht he loves me alot , he cares me alots , more thn 1 , he is right person for me , but bcz he was from bihar n low living stndrd n non veg , i was confused to marry him , i was wantng to mary him , but scared about life style , alwaz misses him i was wanting to b with him , but lots of fight iam nt able to take a hard decision , n he is also confuse bcz of lots of fight n debates , now he is getting married to sum1 else , but he dnt want to marry with sum1 else n same with me , iwant to b with him only , he is my first love , n no 1 can take his place in my life , i love him alot , but iam nt sa matured to tackle the things i knw i cant live without him , i did a mistake but he accpt me with tht mistake , plz tellme he is getting marreid in novembr wat to do , shld i ask him to marry me or let him go on plz suggest me thts is my complete 8 years story need ur suggestion in tht n this is nt story thse r the fact of my life suggest me wat to do
shakshidreams shakshidreams
26-30, F
5 Responses Jul 16, 2012

it is some time natural when we r in immature stage ,,so forget all that things and live life with zeal and new of luck..that was only a bloody sex desire thats it..

Shakshi, U took ur life very chiply...u did'nt understand wht the life....due to ur immaturity u came into this problem....ur definition of love is allmost wrong....u were never fall in love to anyone.....But anyway...try to convience again to Nikhil...if he really loves u then get marry with him....and take a oath to avoid any mistakes in future.....try to understand what is "Life". atleast u shd think thousand times about ur parents.....

Don't cry for someoe who won't cry for you. I had similar problems, ask him one last time, is there anything that could make both of you together, if there isn't, well, that's life for you, you have to move on, no matter how hard, difficult and impossible it may seem.

No offense, but I couldn't understand a word you just said, because your spelling and grammar are awful.

Thts really a sad thing bt u ruined ur lyf being wid ur selfish boss.. Being touchy to u,i suggest u to marry ur bf inspite of all the differences u both hv.. U knw love has no limits.. If he loves u,he will surely understand u n ur things n vice versa.. Best of luck to u.. Be happy

thx , alot

U strongly welcum..