A Female Loner

I have never been entertained by idle chatter, or fluff. This has left me without many friends, maybe because I have been hurt so badly by other women. The way I think isn't common, I can see through phonyness and fakeness quite clearly; I guess that's why I don't do well in large social groups where one has to be nice to people and then engage in vicious gossip behind their backs. I have been the friend turned to during hard times, when one was short of money, or when others were suffering through low self esteem...but how quickly these friends abandon you when they shed those extra 50 pounds or you no longer wish to be their bank, or just aren't cool enough to be included in the group whose superficial conversations leave one mentally tortured and dead. At times, I was so desperate to be included by others that I put up with poor treatment...but I realized quickly that kindness is often mistaken for weakness, and groups are not kind to the weakest member within a socially rigid pecking order. Being rejected by others has built in me a deep empathy for societies' castoffs. So too have I developed a deep empathy for animals, who at times are treated cruelly and mercilessly by man. Has being a loner hurt me? socially it has, at times I feel isolated and lonely, and other times I am quite content in solitude. But the biggest benefit of being a loner is that when one is unleashed from society's mores, one can truly be oneself and no longer give a damn what anyone else thinks of you.
missmixty missmixty
31-35, F
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

One thing I have learned is not to let others effect who you are, what you do or how you think because that never ends well. You're best forgetting everyone else and people will gravitate to you once you just be yourself. Also I try not to judge others including these negative people you mentioned. Remember they are not evil, they are just people like you or me who are messed up in a particular way, you have to feel sorry for them because they are this way and know that it's not impossible for them to change there ways. What you don't want to do is let bitterness against people consume you, I made that mistake and it makes you a very messed up lonely person.