Three Types Of Loners

A while ago I wrote an article called "Inside the Mind of a Loner". Today I would like to expound on that. I will never understand loners, but yet they intrigue me. It must be sad and boring to be alone. If you come home and there is no one to talk to, your life must be almost unbearable. Silence is empty and eerie when there is no conversation to fill it. It is human interaction and conversation that makes people smarter and life more pleasant.
The first type of loner is someone who doesn't particularly enjoy being alone but is able to survive it. It is not always possible to have someone to talk to all the time; therefore, it is necessary to adapt. These people aren't afraid to be alone even if it is not their favorite thing to do. This is acceptable and understandable.
The second type is people who actually enjoy being alone. They take pleasure in it and look forward to it. This seems akin to saying you enjoy being sick. How can you actually enjoy that eerie silence that is devoid of conversation? What type of person is happiest when there are no other people around? Loneliness is a terrible thing and I will never understand how anyone could enjoy being miserable.
The third type is people who say they don't just enjoy but NEED a large amount of time alone. It makes me uncomfortable to be around anyone who thinks like this. It seems selfish, anti-social, and uncivilized. Many of these people are arrogant; they think they are too smart or too good to engage in what they would call idle chit-chat. Maybe these people are missing a gene or suffer from a mental, emotional, or psychological disturbance. It is one thing not to need much converstion; it is another thing to not WANT it. What is so great about being alone that makes people NEED it? Most loners are kind of sinister. If you meet them on the street, they look right through you and make it clear that they don't want to be bothered with conversation and don't enjoy it. There is something kind of creepy about people who NEED to be alone.

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atpeacewithme atpeacewithme
31-35
11 Responses Dec 16, 2012

I will never understand extraverts, but yet they intrigue me. It must be sad and boring to NEVER be alone. If you come home and there is no time for yourself, your life must be almost unbearable. Noise is irritating and harsh when there is no peace and quiet to make up for it. It is self introspection and reflection that makes people smarter and life more pleasant.
The first type of extravert is someone who doesn't particularly enjoy being extraverted but is able to survive it. It is not always possible to be alone all the time; therefore, it is necessary to adapt. These people aren't afraid to be outgoing even if it is not their favourite thing to do. This is acceptable and understandable.
The second type is people who actually enjoy being extraverted. They take pleasure in it and look forward to it. This seems akin to saying you enjoy being sick. How can you actually enjoy that eerie clamour that is devoid of any peace? What type of person is happiest only when there are other people around? Constant Distraction from others is a terrible thing and I will never understand how anyone could enjoy being miserable.
The third type is people who say they don't just enjoy but NEED a large amount of socialising. It makes me uncomfortable to be around anyone who thinks like this. It seems ridiculous, self-hating, and depressing. Many of these people are mean; they write meaningless and hateful articles about people who think unlike them and think they are too good or too interesting to engage in what they would call "eerie silence that is devoid of conversation". Maybe these people are missing a gene or suffer from a mental, emotional, or psychological disturbance. It is one thing not to need much alone time; it is another thing to not WANT it. What is so great about being surrounded by crowds that makes people NEED it? A lot of extraverts are kind of sinister. If you meet them on the street, they're loud and attention-seeking, immediately getting lost in idle chatter and make it clear that they their lives are boring and saddening to such an extent that they cannot stand a single moment of being alone. There is something kind of creepy about people who NEED to be in a state of constant commotion.

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Love what you wrote! Thank you! :)

Ex·tro·vert

noun
1.
an outgoing, OVERTLY EXPRESSIVE PERSON.
synonyms: outgoing person, sociable person, socializer, life of the party
"like many extroverts, he was UNHAPPY inside"

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Different people, different experiences.

I'm a woman. A happy loner. NOT arrogant. I love my friends but I need space and alone time sometimes. What's wrong with that?

That's because you are Ignorant and paranoid. I am a loner, I can be a gentleman holding the doors for people, I don't hate anyone in particular and I am as normal as anyone except that I am open minded and see things around me that no one cares to see but there own self, you think where selfish, man the ones that have too much friends are selfish. So please, don't treat us like a freak or a witch.

I agree with you^

Obviously Henry David Thoreau, Nathaniel Hawthorne and Ralph Waldo Emerson would classify in your Third type. I guess what you miss.... is some people understand to know thyself is the greatest accomplishment of mankind. A few want to actually try to achieve it... even Buddhist monks and Catholic priests though in communal groups can spend nearly an entire lifetime not talking once and look how it pays off... generations of people have utilized their insights to guide their lives for the better. You assume people get lonely because you do. Sometimes, you have to remember in analyzing another.... you don't put your perspective in the mix... you put yourself in their shoes... trying to not think... and just do. You aren't capable of that based upon the above writing. But it does seem you are capable of expressing your desire to not succumb to the loneliness you feel because you need people and the interaction.

Well, I'm doing a documentary about liners and I asked my teacher about research. She said that to know the part you have to be the part. So I am going to be a loner at school for one week.

you sound like a really big ******* with a very narrow spectrum on what is acceptable for personality types. i can clearly see you are a very extroverted person, but, please keep in mind that that is simply just not for everyone. i like being around people, but, more often than not, i love coming home and being alone since 99% of my days are fueled by being forced to carry on mind-numbing conversations with exceptionally stupid people for hours on end.

You sound like you are angry or sad.

Damn, man, share with us how you really feel. Lol. Your attempt at analysing loners is amusing. Maybe stick to your day job, hmm?

Ummmm...why are you trolling in a page called "I am a loner?" I just wasted my time reading your rant. If you're angry at someone for ignoring you, perhaps you should take it up with that person.

YES!.

<p>&nbsp;<p>Look up the definition of an Introvert. Perhaps that will enlighten you. We are all afraid of things we don't understand, maybe you should try some empathy, perhaps not everyone experiences the world like you. Just try to wrap your head around that idea for a second. Other than that please stop projecting your fear of being alone on the people around here. The last thing loners need are to feel bad about who they are. Just like people shouldn't feel bad for being gay, for being black, for having religious beliefs, etc... There are alot of happy loners, who are good people, that thrive off of the peace of solitude, you are just going to have to accept that. And people that socialize constantly aren't guarteed anymore happiness than the person that enjoys their own company, especially if you are dependant on your friends, lover, or family for your own self worth, and to keep you from being bored. I actually feel sorry for people like that...</p><p></p>

I'm not stupid. I know what an introvert is. Introverts are self-absorbed, withdrawn, and laconic. Extroverts, on the other hand, are outgoing, talkative, and interested in other people. If you really want to be this miserable person sitting all alone, I cannot and will not force you to change. It's your choice. Loneliness is a terrible thing. It can lead to depression and cognitive decline, and is often perceived as rude. Try to wrap your head around that idea.

I feel really sad for you that you HAVE to be around other people to be happy. I must really stuck to depend on someone else for your state of being. No loner here is saying we HATE people..we simply enjoy spending time with ourselves. Youe've already said, you'll never understand..stop wrecking your mind.

You make alot of assumptions. I did not call you stupid, and who said anything about being miserable? You go on here and insult all loners and then call us rude, how ironic lol I was just trying to maybe open your mind to the idea that the reason people choose to be a loner isn't black and white, and far more complex than you or I could ever perceive. I agree loneliness is a terrible thing. And if your a loner that is a social outcast, and you wish more than anything that you had friends, but you don't know how to make them, or you cant keep your friends. That can be really painful, and that kind of loneliness no one deserves. Your basically in your own prison.

I have been both. Extremely socialable. Constantly with friends, or with my girlfriend. Or on my own. Constantly socializing. That did not make me happy. I felt like my life was in constant chaos, I didn't feel like I was in control of anything. People have a tendancy to disappoint the longer I am with them, and those moments of disappoint were more painful to me, than any loneliness I have felt in my life.

Internally, I would always feel this pull to escape into my own world while I was with people. I usually ignored this instinct, but now I embrace it because it is who I am. Its hard to describe. I learned that I like my friends much more when I only see them once a week, and they like me more. My friendships are much more healthier. And I learned that after I spend my day socializing at work, I would much rather come home to my peaceful quiet home where I can practice my guitar, write music or listen to music, take my dogs for a walk, go hiking, etc.. Being alone can be quite healthy if its a choice, and I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. So your argument to me, doesn't really add up to me. It might add up for the outcast. The socially retarded extrovert.

I'm still trying to take all this in. I admire your ability to give me a verbal "slap upside the head" without using any foul language or calling me names. That got my attention more than if you had cursed at me, threatened me, or said I was an idiot. You're convincing me that you're a peaceful person and making me re-consider my ideas about loners.
I used to be somewhat of a loner at one time. Then I learned about how loners tend to be self-absorbed, sad, pathetic, weirdos who experience cognitive decline. I didn't want to be that person and I wanted to warn everyone else about the dangers of being a loner.
Now I'm coming full circle. You have always been so civil and polite to me that I can't help but listen to you.
I'm still conflicted and confused. I am naturally a loner no matter how much I have tried to change or pretend otherwise. What you said made a lot of sense. I'm just feeling really guilty about wanting to be a loner. Maybe it's more acceptable for a man to be this way. Girls are supposed to be sociable and talkative.
Well, thank you for listening to me; if I didn't trust you, I wouldn't have told you all this.

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