I Am a Loner

I am a loner, It was not always this way. At age 21, I was the" life of the party". I used to try all manner of new things just to meet new people. I have twice at age 26 skydived....Now at age 41  you could not get me into an airplane. Not to jump, NOT for ANY reason. I was fearless and now...well  scared for lack of any other word.

I have been single for two and a half years now and, I am not sad in the least about it. I come home, eat what I want, drink when I want an NEVER get any greif from anyone about. I am a cigarette smoker and never even have to listen to any bitching about that.

Am I weird?? I have grown to like this lifestyle. Last year I was job hunting and accepted a position on the second shift,that pays 80 cents per hour less than a competative offer simply because there are few co-workers on that shift and I am largely unsupervised.

Don't get me wrong, I love people. I love to read,hear stories about them, I keep up with current events. I just would rather be alone.

I cant wait to get home from work, take a hot shower and simply either go online and goof off or, watch TV Or read a book. ALL BY MYSELF!  I feel like I should feel strange but I don't!

If I pull into a gas station and see someone I know, I wait till they leave before I get out of my vehicle, I don't even want the chit chat. (20 years ago..I would have chased THEM down for a breif conversation)

My Sisters husband is an over the road truck driver. The last time we spoke he mentioned how lonley it was earning a living the way he does. Sleeping in his truck, boring motel rooms etc. As he was complaining about this I thought MAN! you have it made!

I helped them do their taxes last year... $74,000 he made last year, being alone...a dream for me .....Were I not already 41. Trucking companies seek to hire younger people with faster reflexes than mine.

For insurance purposes, It only makes sense They hire 41 year olds that have experience but, to start out at 41...good luck!

I just enjoy ME time..I have often though how great it would be to take all of my guns and knives and go to some remote forrest, and simply live there...make my living by providing for myself....my own garden... my own game hunting (think about it...No IRS, No city type hustle and bustle, No rat race..Just a truly rewarding self existance!)

YUP!  Just me, some basic provisions The skills that I already have as a hunter/fisher, campfires non-stop, and the ultimate reading matterial, The Holy Bible.

Living deep in the forrest, reading and learning gods word, and  gaining a deeper understanding of the bible with NO distractions!  I envision how single males probably lived in the  "Little house on the prarie"days

I so envy those western loners, for they were not alone at all, So long as they had the word of God at hand.

I suppose I was born about 115 years too late!

Trying to live off the land nowadays would probably land me in jail.

Oh-well, never hurts for a loner to dream..

Ken