There's Nothing Wrong With Wanting to Be There?

I am a very introverted person and simply don't like to have too much company. Sure there are people I talk to, some of them I consider to be friends, but after all I'm rather alone. I can feel rather drained if too many people are around me. i spend most of my free time to myself either listenin to music or going on the pc =D
ittooktoolong ittooktoolong
22-25, F
31 Responses Jul 9, 2007

I am worse than that. I hate people. I look around me and I see a bunch of freeloaders who expect me to make them feel better about being worthless wastes of flesh. I don't have friends, although I do talk to people if I have to, but I would be happy just being in a room watching tv or playing on the computer by myself.

You go Courtland. You're not the only one. I get sick of hearing "you should seek support from family and friends". My family is too wrapped up in themselves to even think of me, which means I'd have to crawl on my belly while doing the death rattle...and that's just to get their attention. Maintaining relationships nowadays is like leading the maiden voyage to discover a new world. I don't need to carry all that weight and for what, so I have someone to talk to? Ooh you gotta earn everyone's respect first. Why? What's so special about them?

If you're satisfied with that, I dont see why you should worry whether if its wrong or not so long as youre not harming anyone. If you like it go for it but so long as it is not destructive or hurts those around you.

I tend to keep to myself too.
I desire company in very random moments

Every single one of us is different and unique. Dont ever let the general society rule you into believing that to be extroverted is the norm. I truly believe that more people would enjoy the quiet comfort of ones inner self rather than giving into the pressures of social interaction. I think being alone gives us the chance to reflect on ourselves, making us better humans, and less reflection on how to invent ourselves to make others like us. Social media is a fake "feel good" tool for people who feel a need to make themselves wanted.

It's so good to know that other people are the same! I like to talk to people at work, and know what's going on in my colleagues' lives, but I just don't feel like I want to go out with them. I like having time to myself where I do what I want. My colleagues all like to go out and get drunk but that really doesn't interest me, and being out with a group generally makes me feel uncomfortable, so why would I want to do that? I'm very happy at home with my books, my iPod, and games, being able to be comfortable and enjoying what I like.

Thank you everyone for posting these comments I feel so much better about myself. People try to put you down and get mad at you and call you names and stuff because yours not as social as them. It sucks the life out of me... I'm tired of trying to please people ya know.... if i want to be alone then let me be alone. I'll come out of my room socialize for a little bit but then I want to go back to my room because most people are judgemental and don't talk about nothing that is interesting to me. lol people take offense because when i do socialize I don't talk about what they like. Its rare to find that one or two people that u can connect with and be comfortable around. I know i'm a sweet person and people think i'm mean and antisocial because i don't like to be around them. it used to drain the mess out of me but I'ma just be me and they can not change me.

I always feel this way :)

I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting to be alone. At school I talk to my friends and participate in events. Like for example I am a cheerleader and I am in band. Though at home I like to be in my room alone with no one else. My cousin calls me weird and rude because I like to be alone. She tells me that I should be sent somewhere because I always kick her out when she come in and unlocks my door. I personally think that some people just like to be on their own (me included). Its not weird,some people just need a break from human interaction.

I have spent so many years alone in school & then over the road, that most of the time, I do not even like being around my husband. I have found that I am comfortable around him or his family after a couple of shots of Rum, but nothing else makes me comfortable.

A very good post,I guess many of us can feel like this at times.

I am a loner I have one friend but i don't speak to her except in classroom. i always walk home and school alone. therefore i am alone.

i was just laying here in my bed and realized that after 8 months of studying abroad and living alone i don't feel lonely at all.. on the contrary, i enjoy my loneliness and i feel irritated when someone invades my space, it's like my castle. Of course, i go out with friends from time to time and know how to have fun... i am quite normal in interaction with classmates, the same at my workplace, but somehow, those are not the real me.... the real me is when i'm alone in my room... i love the "four walls" condition, i need the limited space i can call my own and no one else's... maybe it's because while growing up i did not have my own room and now i'm kinda making up for the lost time... anyways, just wanted to say that you're not alone and i don't think it's wrong... it's just that some people do need interaction, and some people feel complete being alone

Wow! I can relate to each and every one of these posts. Usually I don't bother posting on anything. I just read and keep it moving, lol. But I literally just googled "is something wrong with wanting to be alone all the time?" and this blog popped up, and as I'm scrolling down and reading each comment, my stomach is doing flips cuz I'm like "FINALLY, there are people out here that feel where I'm comin' from". Its crazy cuz there are times when I want to be around people, but when I do, I'm ready to come back home to my haven and to get my peace of mind going. I can also relate to the person that talked about using drugs and alcohol to try and let loose. On the rare occasions I do talk myself into going out and having a good time, as soon as I get to wherever I'm going, I drink or smoke as quick as I can so that I can hurry up and get drunk or high in order for me to loosen up. But what ends up happening is, after I get my system all filled up and I finally get to feeling my buzz coming on, I pass out because I went at it too hard. Anyway I just wanted to say my lil piece and say thanx to all the previous posters for the enlightenment.

It's so nice to hear there are people like me feeling the way i do.I love doing my own thing and i hate anyone coming into my personal space,i feel like i cannot breave.I love exercising by myself i always have,i'm crap at making full on efforts with friends and staying in contact on a weekly basis it's just not me.But if a friend needs something i'm the 1st one there helping them.I can relate to alot of your stories the only time i really have is for my 2 children and partner when he's not being a pest....Amberbitchypoo24

I don't think anything is wrong with it. I often feel drained with human interaction as well. So if you prefer being alone, then be alone, even if someone tells you otherwise. =3

Thank you for these comments. I sometimes feel as if I'm constantly explaining myself as to why I am the way I am (introverted). It does not mean that I cannot talk with people in society and it doesn't mean that I cannot function at my job. It does not mean there is something wrong with me and I wish that people would stop asking "What is wrong?" It's frustrating because as we all know, everyone has problems in life such as family issues, issues dealing with kids, financial issues and other things but these are just part of life and these are NOT the reason why I am introverted. I know for a fact that I was born introverted and I became uncomfortable with it and criticized for it when I was a child so I began using drugs and alcohol not only to deal with issues going on in my life but also to try to come out of my shell and that, in turn, proved to be seriously harmful to my life for many years because I was trying to cover who I was. Well, now, 8 years clean and childhood is but a distant memory that I have processed through just like everyone else does. And finally, I can say that I will not choose to be someone I am not just to fit in to someone elses view of who I should be.<br />
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I am introverted because it is who I am. Yes, I can socialize on the computer..facebook and other social sites because I can regulate it and therefore feel comfortable using this avenue of socializing. Introverts laugh, joke and even speak publicly. I like the comment above where someone talks about their home as being the "safe place". I agree with this because this is where we reflect on oursleves. I like to write and read. I have a very hard time when someone comes into my home and becomes intrusive, insisting that I should not be the way I am because it is not what they do. <br />
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I love the above post as well where it says;<br />
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"Self actualized people have social interaction and intimate relationships to enhance their living experience and not to fullfill a need." <br />
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All I have to say is thank you for letting me vent and thank you all for having this space to vent in.

There is this weird conception that social interaction is important for ones wellbeing and happiness. <br />
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This is very far from the truth. Reality is, that true happiness comes from the inside and social interaction is simply a survival skill. Ones wellbeing and happiness does not depend on social interaction, but on how one perceives him or herself, their level of self esteem and how they take care of themselves.<br />
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To many people nowdays depend on external factors for their happiness. This results in becomming needy, and in intimate relations, becomming cliny and controlling. Hence the good old: "I can't live without my partner" or "I need to have lots of friends to feel good". This is called dependency and is accepted in psychiatry and neuropsychology as a unhealthy behaviour. It should be everyones goal to be or become independent and self actualized. <br />
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Someone who is fully independent and self actualized, doesn't require others to lean on for their feeling of wellbeing. They know where they stand and where they are going, have clear goals and a sense of direction in life. They feel happy and comfortable alone as well as in company of others. Self actualized people have social interaction and intimate relationships to enhance their living experience and not to fullfill a need.

Being alone is not such a negative thing. If any thing it gives you the opportunity to connect with your true inner self. When one has been subjected to the nonsense and incredibly futile dogmas of life you begin to realize that life on the outside is very shallow and really has no authentic meaning. When you begin to understand and appreciate that there are other dimensions to this life you begin to acknowledge the true inner beauty of this universe. Life is not just about being the best. having lots of money or associating with high profile people. My opinion is one of being able to quieten the mind in solitude and being grateful for where you are in life now and loving the moment.

what else can u be in this effd up country...

its the same with me... i cant open up to people v easily... and as a result of me being a loner, i have became an exceptionally good writer, editor and i draw pretty well.

sometimes, i wish im someone else's... i wish my girl would understand how am i feeling.

Adults drained me. I wish I were not a grown-up.

I'm pretty similar myself.

I'm pretty similar myself.

I'm pretty similar myself.

Not at all. As long as you can function in the workplace/social settings that you have to be a part of. I'm somewhat a loner, but I do ocasionally crave contact. I think there is a WHOLE continuum of social needs. <br />
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Some people need social contact 24/7, other people don't need it at all. I'm closer to the don't need it at all, but I do need some. I'm happy if I just see my friends on the weekend and am solo during the week usually. :)


True.Like Nicoleal said..its absulately normal and nothing wrong in it.Dont need to change your self as we all have our own nature.Just try to pass time with your hobbies.

Im now 28 and have been shy and introverted for most of my life. I feel like ive missed out on alot of fun to be honest and i regret that im like this and dream of how things could of been different. I guess im saying theirs not so much fun to be had when your alone...thats just my opinion.

No, there's nothing wrong with it. You sound a lot like me. I relish my time alone but I also enjoy my time with my husband and daughter too. I don't like being around a lot of people for the same reason. It is quite draining. To me the house is my safe place and I always want to be there.

There is only something wrong with it if it affects your ability to interact in society; i.e. you are alone because you want to be but you can involve yourself in a group without experiencing trauma or other upset. Introverts are 35% of the population, so you're not really alone in your desire to be alone =D