Rather Be Afar Then Close

I have been married for twenty years and divorced for four years. I guess I was always destined to be a loner since childhood. You see I grew up in Japan and while I was there I was stared at alot, because I looked different (I am part Black and Japanese). I never did like too much attention and when they stared at me I felt very, very uncomfortable. When I returned to the states at seventeen, it was still the same, either I looked too light to be Black or too dark to be White, my friends were the outcasts of school. They seemed to like me for who I was, not for what I looked like, they understood me. I have had about forty women in my life, I don't know if I would call them relationships, but they seemed to fall for me and I like them, but it never works out. I dont think I doom myself, but I eventualy end up being by myself.

Iceman2009 Iceman2009
46-50, M
1 Response Mar 16, 2009

For one thing, it seems like you have your mind made up for whats going to happend in your future.That right there puts a damper on anything good happening.<br />
I don't think any color would stop me from having in life what I would like to see happend.We tend to be hard on our self when things fail and we want something so bad.Please by all means don't worry so much you have as much as a chance as anyone else!You need to tell your self that every day.Don't leave room for doubt and fear.tell your self I will find what I want in life and thats,that,pure and simple! I will be thinking of you and pray for Gods hand to be upon you. Take care and know all things are possiable if we believe!