I Can't Help It

I try not to be a loner but I just dont seem to fit in anywhere, I have "friends", that is, I have aquaintaces I go out with but when I'm out I just feel alone in the crowd.

I have nothing interesting to say, no special talents to catch people's interest, I'm not stunningly attractive, I am just useless.

Most evenings after work I just stay home in my room wasting my time on the internet looking for the meaning of life. I don't know how to be anyone but me.

I am a waste of space.

ASortaFairytale ASortaFairytale
26-30, F
8 Responses Sep 16, 2009

Dont get me wrong, Im not suicidal, I just dont feel anything, Im dead inside completely. I have no one to love and no one to love me.<br />
Love is a foreign concept and the sort of thing that happens to other people, I hate it when people say there's someone out there for everyone because its not true. I know plenty of old people who are alone.

Thanks for all the responses. I just don't know how to get happy. I don't particularly want to change so that I will fit in but no one is interested in me because I'm so individual and independent. I don't dress oddly or anything but I just don't follow the trends of what to watch on tv and pop music. I have signed up for a dating site too a while ago and go no replies or emails. I dont think I am ugly and people tell me I'm pretty but what does that matter when I am smart and individual. Men just seem to want a defenceless little girl with no mind of their own. <br />
I am at a loss in life. All that I thought I would have now at my age (27) I dont have and cant get. Men are not interested in me at all only the strange ones who are sleazy and only want one thing. Nice guys run away from me or just want to be friends.<br />
I'm so tired of trying so hard at socialising all the time. If I didnt ask what people were doing in an evening then I wouldnt get invited. I have changed groups of friends so many times but the result is always the same sooner or later, I'm just meant to be alone, I just different somehow and people can see it in me, I dont know what it is but its there.<br />
What have I left to hope for? I don't know anymore.

...ure not alone in this...ure not a waste of space...theres only one u and thats the original...^^...<br />
...make a challenge to think more positively...

You can be a loner and be happy with yourself and your life... I looked around at the average "joe" for several decades and decided that I'm glad I don't fit in.. not all that impressed with the "in" crowd and don't want to be like them. Alone doesn't have to mean lonely.. they are two different states of mind. First meaning to life.. Like yourself because in the end that's all anyone has really got... then love yourself.. then things fall into place..

Now that you've gone there Himmelmann, I'm going to say it: maybe there is no purpose. In general as well as for individual lives. I personally find nothing wrong with that.

Do not yield to despair. Know that you do have a purpose, and surely it is not in self-reduction.<br />
My little advice on one of many roads to find it is that you start practicing something like Yoga, Tai Chi, Kung Fu or such. They can help more than you would hope.

Life is what you make of it, I found myself in the same predicament not long ago. We all have some feat we excel at, soon enough you'll find it. In addition to that you can become good at anything you see fit. It's hard to compare your life to others, I recently heard a great quote I have become very fond of, "If people only understood each other they would neither hate nor idolize one another." Your just as needed as anyone else on this planet.<br />
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PS- Sorry if this is intrusive D: I'm new to this site and have no clue what are the unspoken comment boundaries are.

Honestly, I think being you and not someone else is the way to go. And I hardly think you're a waste of space. <br />
<br />
What interests you? Most likely there are ways to meet people with the same interests and at the least, share your enthusiasm.