I'm a loner.....thats just me.....it's the way i've always been. Since joining EP i've come to terms with it more and i'm not as embarressed to admit now that i keep myself to myself and have only one friend (who i don't see alot of). I've made friends with people on here who are just like me and now i don't feel as 'different'. But every now and again something makes me stop and think about how i live my life.
Last night i made the fatal mistake of going on FaceBook. I closed my account last year because i thought it was full of people who were like; "oh look at me and what a fabulous life i have. I have a brilliant social life, here's lots of pictures of me with my friends getting drunk, oh and i've got nearly 3,000 friends on FB! Aren't i popular?!"........well, something like that....you get the idea.
I saw some pictures of some people that i used to go to school with. And yes they were all out together getting drunk and having a 'fabulous' time'. In that moment i felt lonely and isolated. I don't know why i felt that way because the whole socialising and getting drunk thing is just not me. I tried it for a while but i had to make myself do those things and also tried to convince myself that this was the sort of life i should be leading. I was so unhappy though.......i wasn't been true to myself.
I like to stay home...... reading, listening to music, talking to my friends on EP and spending time with my two dogs. Infact the only time i go out is to walk the dogs and go to the shops. I now get most of my stuff off the internet and get it delivered so i don't have to venture into town. I don't mind going out.........i just prefer to stay in. I also prefer the company of animals than i do people.
So after looking on FB and having the chance to think things through properly i've realised that this is just the way i am......just like the people on FB like going out alot and getting drunk all the time..... thats just the way they are.