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I Shouldn't Have To Pretend I'm Like Everyone Else

I'm a loner.....thats just me.....it's the way i've always been. Since joining EP i've come to terms with it more and i'm not as embarressed to admit now that i keep myself to myself and have only one friend (who i don't see alot of). I've made friends with people on here who are just like me and now i don't feel as 'different'. But every now and again something makes me stop and think about how i live my life.

Last night i made the fatal mistake of going on FaceBook. I closed my account last year because i thought it was full of people who were like; "oh look at me and what a fabulous life i have. I have a brilliant social life, here's lots of pictures of me with my friends getting drunk, oh and i've got nearly 3,000 friends on FB! Aren't i popular?!"........well, something like that....you get the idea.

I saw some pictures of some people that i used to go to school with. And yes they were all out together getting drunk and having a 'fabulous' time'. In that moment i felt lonely and isolated. I don't know why i felt that way because the whole socialising and getting drunk thing is just not me. I tried it for a while but i had to make myself do those things and also tried to convince myself that this was the sort of life i should be leading. I was so unhappy though.......i wasn't been true to myself.

I like to stay home...... reading, listening to music, talking to my friends on EP and spending time with my two dogs. Infact the only time i go out is to walk the dogs and go to the shops. I now get most of my stuff off the internet and get it delivered so i don't have to venture into town. I don't mind going out.........i just prefer to stay in. I also prefer the company of animals than i do people.

So after looking on FB and having the chance to think things through properly i've realised that this is just the way i am......just like the people on FB like going out alot and getting drunk all the time..... thats just the way they are.

Evernight Evernight 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 24, 2010

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my advice with fb is to seperate your friends list into close friends and acquaintances. let only your close friends see the things you post but allow your acquaintances to post on your timeline and see your profile. and keep your profile private from the general public. that's what i just did.

Makes sense. I don't get the whole "hey lets go to town it'll be fun" thing. I don't understand why everyone likes being in a room so packed with people you can barely move with music so loud that you can't hear even when people scream in your ear ><I>< I'm a happy drunk but getting drunk in the first place makes me feel sick :S I don't know how people can stand the taste of bear, its disgusting ><

Thanks for your comment P :)

I agree with you about FB, Ever. Though I have a page, I find my visits are becoming fewer and farther between. I have no need to update my latest status from my BB because it is the same as yesterday: I got up, I went to work, I came home and decompressed from a long and stressful day. I'm not sure where all these people on FB find the time to go to bars, etc. until all hours of the night. In college, I can understand that you usually have enough free time to go out for wings and beer all the time, but several years later I now look at acquaintances' FB pages and can't help but think, "Don't they have jobs?" For me, gaining an extra hour to sleep is what I look forward to the most.<br />
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In any case, I especially liked your closing two paragraphs. Thanks for sharing!

Thanks destry & shygrl176 for your comments. I've always been made out to be abit of a weirdo because i don't 'fit in'.... society has alot to answer for, they alienate people because of their differences.

hello,i am just like you im a loner also.i just dont seem to fit in anywhere. but the most important thing about is that we learn to be happy with ourselves it took me a while to realize that this is who i am and i cant change that i closed my f.book too i think most people live fairytale lives on there myself but just love you for you .

I feel just like you do. I tried FB for two weeks and hated it. Not for me. I am who I am and I feel more comfortable here where there is no need to show off and shout to the world that you have 1. 238 friends!!

Thanks for sharing your story; you said a lot of things I can relate to. When I was younger, I tried to pretend I was like everyone else, but I hated it and was miserable. Whenever you're trying to be something that just "isn't you", as opposed to being true to yourself, you will usually be unhappy. I am truly a loner; I am happiest when I am alone. I'm not complaining or feeling sorry for myself; I have accepted that this is part of who I am, and I like who I am. I can actually get along with people a lot better if I'm not all that close to them. I felt relieved when I stopped trying to be this thing that just isn't me. However, I believe that everyone ( including you ) has something to offer to the world, and some way to help others. Not everyone is a social butterfly, and that's OK. You will eventually find your niche, and find some way to relate to people, that works for your personality.

I get requests to be friends on Facebook that I have no idea who the hell they are. I am also a loner and feel pretty comfortable with it, though I do wonder what I'm missing by not having real friends to talk about music with, and how I fear the world is going mad.

i just had the same facebook experience. it is nice to know that others feel the same way...thanks for sharing.

I have never joined facebook ever but I did join my space two years ago. I felt like an alien on myspace, an outsider, everybody else lived in their little word going out and writing lines of the latest gossip on their page. I never fit into the myspace world ever Because I feel embarrased of how few friends and I felt like my other people I know will want to probe into my page to find out my personal life and be judgemental of it. The feelings you have with face book are perfectly okay.

Thanks Kurbs :)<br />
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And you too my dear friend Bells :)

just remember to stay true to who you are, thoes pictures shouldnt effect you. You dont have to be wasted to have fun...you can be sober and have fun! i think thats the best kind of fun...the fun you can remember the next day! and animals need sooo much love too, i volunteer with animals and i love...do what makes you happy, and if being home makes you happy...DO IT! Hahahah! :)

Ever..I am like you.From my teenage years to now ,I've had very limited friends...Seems it's always just one best friend.<br />
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I guess if it makes you happy...then all's well :)

Thanks Sylph *hugs* back! xx

Oh, I forgot... *hugs*

I've thought of joining FB. My RL friends are in it and kept bugging me to join. But after seeing how the scheme of things are in there, it wasn't my thing either. Sure, you get connected and all that. But it's more of splashing your face here and there showing good times. It's fun, to a point; but kinda shallow for me. But that's just my opinion.<br />
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And though I love to drink and party, I really don't want the entire world to see me like that. I go out to have fun with my friends; not to show off I'm drunk.

Thank you tabaqui for your kind comment :)<br />
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And to my good friend DarkTruth, thank you also for your kind words......... your a special friend :) *hugs* xx