I can honestly say that being a loner has been a gift and a curse for me. I moved from NY to down south 4 years ago when my father's job transferred. After the move, I became completely isolated in this new environment. I became so nervous and awkward when meeting new people, that I just stopped all together and kept to myself. I feel like I am so different from everyone around here and whenever I do meet someone who takes a liking to me, I am never forward on developing a friendship with them. What makes it more difficult is that I have been in a long distance relationship for about 4 years now and my girlfriend keeps pressuring me on when I am going to start looking for jobs and moving back up to NY. I know that moving back up will be a process and she's getting tired of waiting. My girlfriend is the only person I talk to and if I lose her, I'll feel like the lonliest guy on Earth. It's like she expects me to find a job and an apartment all within 6 months and I'm trying to be realistic about it. I'm trying to be optimistic about finding a job right out of college but it's not as easy as it sounds. Before I moved, I had a solid group of friends, a girlfriend and I was always going out. But after high school, I became a loner little by little and since I moved, I went full steam with being by myself all the time. It has its ups and downs because I am not distracted from my work and I have several hobbies to keep my mind sane but it would be nice sometimes to have someone you can call up and hang out with. I keep telling myself that this is just a phase I'm going through since I'm down here and once I move everything will be fine but even when I visit back up with my friends in NY, I lie to them and say I have all these new friends and what not for the sake of them thinking I'm weird or worrying about me. Sometimes I regret moving down here, but other times it's a blessing because its made me concentrate on my future. My girlfriend says I'm a loner because I'm a visual artist and all artists are weird lol but I dont think thats the case. I'm a writer, a poet, a painter, a sculptor with an insatiable eye for fashion all wrapped up into this slim physique :D. You would think I'd have an ecletic group of friends but unfortunately that's not the case. I wouldnt say I suffer totally from social anxiety because in certain situation because I am able to approach people with no difficulty. What do you guys think?Lo

dabonayr93 dabonayr93
22-25, M
1 Response Feb 21, 2010

It's the same here. This is not the best idea but it might work: Just start making friends with other like minded artists on Facebook or Linkedin. Eventually, ask if they want to hang out or even just go out for a coffee. Eventually, you will have your mates and as you feel more comfortable with them, you will hang out more often.