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A Loser In Life...

I never used to be a loser but now I don't think there is one person on earth that would say any differently.
I am single, have no friends, no social life, still live at home and although I have a job it isn't as good as I could do.
I watch people my own age stride ahead in life and it seems like I am always on the sidelines watching.
I am a good person boring but good. So I don't understand why my life is like this. I am popular and respected at work but co workers don't seem to want to hang out with me socially. Clearly I am doing something wrong and I hate myself for it and feel so ashamed. Sometimes the shame gets so bad it leads to paranoia.
I try to hide how much of a loser I am to everyone but maybe it comes across anyway. I know that if others knew my true life story they would see me as pathetic and that's what really hurts.
Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 15 Responses May 10, 2011

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Do you still feel this way? I hope things have gotten better for you.

I was just typing in Google that I am loser and . Got this page actually speaking . I am the biggest loser as well as the king if bad lucks I have to struggle for each and every small thing in life . Growe.up in poor family which . Am never ashamed of I am Kind of guy who always faces for any thing that comes to me . Am not smart neither . Am intelligent nor good looking and . don't have any talent in me people around me are proud of me but . Am not . Finally felt on love with a girl . Was in relation for 7yrs and now she's marrying to some guy without her will and the problem is we are not from same caste I am christian she is muslim and she is in my family bcz my father had an intercaste marriage to a Muslims girl which is my mom and after 10yrs they accepted my mom and dad and if I am taking any wrong step now it's All going to be same thing repeated my luck is so bad that I have been given some small responsibility to handle in the ceremony of my love and . Think again I am gonna be their and face it and once she is gone again the same person which was in me before who was cruel and hard is gonna cm bk and first in my life . Think of me as stupid moron who is gud for nothing......
..

I agree with a previous post. You are NOT a loser, but you do sound lonely.

I feel myself a loser sometimes ans was a real loser few years ago. I know what you feel. How are you know?

You don't sound like a loser to me, Young lady. You sound smart and accomplished. Maybe you seek the wrong crowd?

u aint a looser..sit dwn nd discvr urself, probably u might be doin somthin wrngly..that makes people wanna dissociate themselves...

You dont sound like a loser you sound lonely :( *hugs*

No friend you are not a loser...there are many people like you in this world..and I am one of them...I also don't have any friends...

This is not to try and help. Because I don't think I can help anyone. But I do know what you mean. I dont know why I'm even posting this, but if it helps, I'm a bigger loser than you are.

I had a job. it was bad, but it paid. I quit it because it was suffocating. And decided to go back to school and get a research degree. But doing that is the loneliest thing I've ever done. Its been three years and I have spoken to not more than 10 people. this is counting my Supervisor (who gave me back my paper yesterday calling it - and by extension, me - a "zero out of ten").

I live with my parents, because I cant afford to live on my own. They pay for my food, my internet, my phone...My PhD is not going to finish for at least another 3 years. I have no friends, no boy friend, no social life. I have no prospect of meeting anyone, because I don't go out or hang out or do anything that lets me meet any people.

All my life, my teachers, friends, everyone always told me that I had "so much potential". They said I was going to do "great things". I can't see it, though. Because I've done nothing. Achieved nothing. Everyone else who graduated with me in school and college is doing very well, as evidenced by their regularly posting pictures of exotic holidays and happy families.

And here I am. Almost thirty, no money, no friends and no hopes for any near future.

Hey I want to be your friend really ....your story is absolutely similar to me

Thank you for your support. It means a lot that you actually took the time to reply. I'm ever so grateful. I'd love to hear your story too

That PhD program isn't going to last forever. When you do finish it, doors will be opening for you. You're not a loser at all since you're doing something to better yourself and your situation...and you're only 30!

You we put here on earth for a purpose, write do what you want out of live then start taking it. Last nite I got dumped today I started taking more out of life, u can do it!

jenni...you are not a loser...who said loser or winner is decided by number of friends....and everybody faces some difficult phase in life...<br />
Let me tell you about myself....i am indian guy working abroad in a country where racism is very common...needless to say very few people talk to me even in my work place...can't leave my job because i need money....but still i don't think i am a loser because its me who will decide if i am a loser or winner.....nobody else has the right to decide....keep your chin up and i hope the best for you....may god bless you and make you happy...:)

First and foremost, you are not a loser. You don't need to have lots of friends. What you need are a few good friends, people that you can trust and rely on. <br />
<br />
Everyone acquires things at different times in their lives. Some have it all and quickly lose it all too. You still have time to get the things you want. <br />
<br />
If you feel that you need friends then don't sit back and wait for it to happen, make it happen. You put yourself forward and let people know that you are there. You chat with people, you invite the girls out to have a bite to eat at lunchtime or after work.<br />
<br />
I know you can do it so c'mon, get out there :)

Sometimes I think like that too, sometimes I want to wear that long face too and think by myself how lonely I am ... <br />
But then it hits me ... That I'm being way too pathetic here and that none of this can ever help my reach my goals. <br />
<br />
And that's the vicious circle you may get stuck into: <br />
you feel sad, lonely and depressed because you don't have A or B, but actually it's because of your attitude that you don't get A or B.<br />
<br />
Break that circle through by asking yourself some fundamental questions: such as: what's my purpose here? Why do I think this way, Why do I want to think this way?<br />
<br />
Your goal is to be socially accepted,right?<br />
So .. how can they accept you if you can't accept yourself?<br />
Besides, nobody is a loser, you're only a loser when you've stopped trying.<br />
<br />
1) accept yourself, be your best you can be and give your all. <br />
2) If you would like to work on your humour, try watching funny shows or movies. Try to look things in a different way if you consider yourself boring.<br />
<br />
And most importantly, believe in yourself

i cant even begin to describe to you how much i relate to what you wrote

I have been a loser all my life, still am probably more than ever now. Never let anyone see or think i was a loser, but knew in my heart I was. I suppose we all hide our inner pain, i am in a similar situation to you, and have been for many years. I was never popular, but prehaps previously respected. <br />
I wish I was different, and it makes me burn that I have been unhappy all my life. I am trying to change in small steps, but been hindered by not having any money ( lost my job), lost my wealth, moved back with parents.<br />
<br />
I guess we all have to somehow break through this pain . I hope u do.