Ramblings Of A Loser
I don't believe that the world is really divided into simple categories like losers and winners. But it seems like many people do, and in many people's minds I am sure I must seem like a big idiot loser. And sometimes I let it get to me. It does hurt..and hey, there are valid things that can be said against myself, things which I won't deny but have not been able to rectify. God, if there was just a magic pill to turn someone into a "winner" I would swallow it down without hesitation.. I am almost 25, have no relationship (I've ran away from commitment many times), never had a good and lasting job, never made any serious amount of money, haven't finished college though I've been at it for a loong time. I really don't want to get into thinking about what caused me to become an unambitious skeptical depressed person, because I've done that and it doesn't help. I just want to change. I want to be happy, of course, like anyone. I want to find love. I want to be a good person. But there is a nagging voice inside that tells me none of that is possible. That I am destined to be a loser, alone and despised. Yes, I have friends and family. But if I let this go on for too long I will alienate everyone. I put in effort to make changes in my thinking but I can never seem to get rid of these negative thoughts and feelings that keep me down..Anyway, I hope everyone out there has a good new year and finds hope and positive change.