I Hate Myself

I have social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder. I had few friends before, but I recently moved and now, except for my husband, I know nobody in the area. I've signed up for social groups but I can never actually go to a meetup; when I think about going to a social event the only things that come to my mind are being rejected, excluded, not being good enough for anyone else to like. I've been looking for work, but any interview I get is a joke because my anxiety guarantees I'll fail it. I can't even make a doctor's appointment because talking on the phone makes me so nervous. I used to do a lot of volunteer work, but my recent increase in emotional instability keeps me from doing that as well. I used to be a person with friends, hobbies, interests, and a life. Now I feel as though I'm just a husk of a person and I'm getting to the point where I often wonder if it's worth it to keep living like this. I spend most of my time cooped up in my apartment, and it's hard for me to even go outside if I'm not accompanied by someone. I feel so worthless and valueless; I assume that everyone is better than me, and that I'll never be successful, that I'll be this miserable failure for the rest of my life. I want to get better, but I don't know how. I don't know if I can.
Blank29 Blank29
18-21, F
1 Response May 16, 2012

Thank you both for your support, I really appreciate it. :)