I Am A Loser..............

I am a 28 year old male from India. To say that I am a failure would be an understatement. I have never been able to do anything nicely in my life. Although I have an engineering and a Management degree but i couldn't make any kind of mark in my academics. I was always an underachiever. Nor did i have a roaring social life. I had my first real girl friend at the age of 19 or 20. Had to call off our relationship because my family had to move. And yes before that I dropped out of college because I wasn't able to adjust to the atmosphere and used to have terrible low self esteem. When I got into my Post Graduation I thought may be things will change, they did change but only for worse. I was not concentrating on my studies. I was in a relationship with a girl, who broke my heart, coz i wasn't able to satisfy her sexually, the first time we tried to get intimate. And yes she was the first girl with whom I had a physical relation, you see I was a virgin till the age of 25!!!! In the meantime I also couldn't get along with my batch mates. Every one ignored me. That girl while breaking up with me told me that I didn't have any social skills, and that I am a total loser. And trust me guys those words still ring out in my ears. I have contemplated suicide a lot of times, and worse still there are lot of times when I think of killing her, which I know is a totally absurd and negative feeling. I have other issues regarding my family too. My parents are dependent on me, and I feel really bad that I am not able to provide them a good life because I am not able to get a decent paying job. I feel like an unsuccessful son, useless brother and a total waste of a lover.
Please help me........................
sauravdaga12 sauravdaga12
26-30, M
7 Responses Aug 29, 2012

Look,,I am too from an engineer and almost the same type of a story with a girl except i never touched her...but loving her mad for so many years..she also said me a looser,i broke up the same day..though i miss her a lot but u know what i feel that i had courage to come out of a relationship.....

now come back to you,what she said is was her opinion towards you,,everyone has its opinion..but remember one think only one person opinion matters and that is you yourself....so dont pay attention to those words,,

start working on spirituality,,u would find peace there...from experience telling u

i can relate to u , i also hav'nt got any social skills, no girl talks to me in my uni, plus am a short highted person, not good in stdies and also a big coward!

I don't blame you for fantasizing about hurting people who have hurt your feelings, but please don't do it in real life. In the end, the consequences to you and your parents would make you a REAL loser. I think you should seek counseling and sexual education for confidence/self esteem issues.

I just want to come full circle on this..I just feel that if I hurt her the way she did to me...I will find my peace.....

you have a delicate heart and a thin skin.
that girl of yours wsa young and stupid. fogive her for that and move on, don't let her words define who you are.
we tend to find confirmation to our perception of ourselves and then it is just vicious circle.
try thinking of something you like about yourself and look for confirmation.

maybe its stupid of me but i think you need to find a hobby, something thet lets you be just you with no mesureing stick and maybe you can find people with similar interests and be social

The fact that you are reading this is more than enough..

I can relate with u, I'm also a loser. I have absolutely no social skills. My only friend is autistic or just really dumb & I h8 her sometimes, but there's no 1 else so...yeah. Guys don't like me cuz I'm ugly, weird & awkward so I'll probably never have a boyfriend... I'm like the forever alone guy )-': but u are a successful son cuz u got an engineering & management degree & that's the first step! Also not many people can say that bcuz they are lazy ungrateful jerks. U must be a useful brother, u seem great! & ur not a total waste of a lover cuz at least u tried. Some guys would just be like "lol I don't care bout u!" & just end up raping the girl, but u cared! Never give up, things get better!

Thanx for the kind words.....

I FEEL SO BAD!!! I wish I could help! )-':