Alone

I have some friends but I rarely go out. I spend most weekends by myself and it's kinda depressing. I guess I am saving money that way but I practically have no social life. I am single and keep trying to meet people online but it doesn't work. I am pretty much in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way. A guy younger than me who lives at home. I am 36 and should not be interested in this guy. We work together and have slept together several times and I wish it were more. I kinda asked him to do something with me yesterday and he said he would get back to me to let me know i he would be free that day. I am so used to rejection that I should be numb to it by now but it makes me feel bad to know that I am nothing more than a piece of a** to him. I am alone and I am a loser. I have always been and always will be. :(