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Lame

I am a loser. I've never gone to a "cool party" before, I've never won any competition that I've participated in, and I am the least popular child. I have always wanted to go to a party, but my brother always tells me I am not allowed to go and when his girlfriend tried to convince him he got upset. I am pretty sure it's because he is embarrassed of me. Who wants to have their awkward, overweight sister going to a party with them and ruining their popularity? I remember in elementary I was in a community basketball league and I was placed in a team that always went against my cousins team. My team ALWAYS lost. We never won a single game the entire season. I never won anything, I remember crying a lot as a kid when I noticed that my brothers and cousins always won while I never won anything. I am not popular in my family, not that they hate me, it's just that they like my big brothers more. Every time I go and surprise them with a visit, they ask if my brother came with me and when I say no they seem so disappointed that it's just me. I feel so pathetic.

Update: January 2, 2014

Wow, I wrote this so long ago and looking at it now just blows me away. A lot has changed since I wrote this, and I'd like to give thanks for the positive comments that were left on my story because they really helped make me feel better. I've been working on myself mentally and physically. I used to put myself down all the time for all the things I couldn't do, like basketball which is ridiculous because I never even liked the sport! I still can't play a sport very well against my brothers or cousins, but you know what I realized? I don't care. I never was interested in sports, I always loved drawing, painting, writing, anything to do with art I loved it! You know what else I realized? That I'm pretty damn good at it (: I'm learning to love myself and my self-confidence is at the highest it's ever been (which is still pretty low, but like I said I'm learning)! Ever since I stopped caring what my family thought and started doing my own thing, I've noticed how much they've started wanting me around more and how interesting they find me when I act like myself. I've been working out I even managed to accomplish (and exceed) my 2013 new year's resolution to lose 10 pounds, losing a little more than 20 pounds. Now my 2014 resolution is to drop another 10 pounds and go from there. I really do appreciate this website because of all the awesome people on here who help people like me when they are down and need a little push. You guys rock!

Well thanks for reading and I hope you have a goodnight/day where ever you are (:
Paramount2play Paramount2play 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2012

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Get fit and everything will come in place... I know its annoying but I had to do it if I wanted to get some attention in parties and normal life... its easier to just don't move a finger but that would be toxic. You can work our in home or gym! Good luck

I know how u feel if u need sum1 to talk im here

I'm not here to cheer you up or enliven you like the others
it seems like you think you r ugly cuz of your body and not talented due to the things that you've been done which are basically basketball games.
The first thing is that you can change your body type if u rly want to. U are rather sitting in front of laptop, not gyming. that means you prefer your comforty life. When it comes to you bro,You said your brother won't let you go there... since when teenagers are so obediant!
The second thing is not a single problem. You may good at studying ,painting or something else. If you do wanna become a basketball player and you can't do anything better than the others, that would be a problem.
You upload your profile picture and must think 'hmm my face is cute(or acceptable)'. Yeah you r Not hideous. Unlike the others!
And... according to your story, your brother is very hot and extrovert.
Let me give u an example. Hav u ever saw Liv tylors sisters? Or willa holland. it happends in everysinglefamily(actually I kinda exaggerating) anyway, you feel like you r a loser based on nothing...
You just want to be rly pretty like models and talented in everything.
I know cuz I have this problems too.we crave Perfection, want something more and more. Admit who you are ane lower your fantasy goals. Satisfaction&happiness may hug you
Sry for my bad english :) I've learn it on my own through internet