What A Loser...

Started a life in arts at a young age and lived like there was no tomorrow Gave up on education at a big art school and finally realized i was never going to make any real money in the theater for lack of education. Went legally blind due to a hereditary condition. Then partly du to stupid actions of my own and a mates explosive temper had to let go of my second big relationship and practicing to much trust allowed her to take our little girl to her parents where she set a plot to take her from me for good. I fell into financial dispair and was shunned by every living soul I knew but my parents. I am 39 very poor, havent had a relationship in six years. I am lucky to have a home. I have been homeless. The loss of sight, my child and financial security that disallows me to give my child things sent me into a horrible depression. I am terrified of the world, not trusting it to be anything but cruel. I hate myself for being such a loser. The mother of my child and her family treated me like I was crazy and ignored me, rarely ever encouraging my little girl to even so much as call me. I look and act like a weirdo i guess because I carry a cane to get around. People don't know what to make of me and neither do I. The loneliness got so bad I started hurting myself and was constantly on the verge of suicide. I don't know where this life is going. I have been so down I have considerered male prostitution tried to find a way to sell my kidney.  If someone loves you and there isn't a game behind it cherish it. signed... one lost loser.
ahomewithin ahomewithin
36-40
Jan 21, 2013