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A Constant Emptiness

I'm a love addict and have been since I was a teenager. I constantly find myself in love triangles usually with decent men where one is a lover and the other a long term partner. I keep cheating and stopping ( for obvious reasons) because I do love my partner and past partners. Sometimes I wonder am I even capable of love. I haven't been single since I was 16, I am a man junkie and looking for love and happiness in all the wrong places. I have hurt some good men and ruined so many relationships throughout my life. I'm looking for help but I live in a country that doesn't really recognise my addiction and I don't know what to do. I feel so alone and ashamed because I can't share this or my pain with anyone. I can't tell my friends because I'm afraid they'll judge me and what I do tell them is minimal. All I've ever wanted is to be happy and have a family with a loving husband. I only care for the simple life. I don't think I can ever be happy or I will ever fill the void. I am constantly hurting and real love is no where to be found.
katnport katnport 22-25 3 Responses Nov 12, 2012

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You sound exactly like a woman I know... she's in her late forties now and still doing the exact same thing and just as aware of it as you. She won't try a poly relationship because she says she thinks it's wrong (or maybe just wants attention all for herself). Until you accept the consequences of even the smallest actions toward a man, you won't change. In reality, you don't have to. There's always be a new guy ready if you are anywhere near as good as she was in bed.

I am the same position as you, i have been with my husband for six years now and i have been caught talking to multiple men thoughout our relationship. Right now we are going through a seperation. I tried threapy, but the truth is that when i am trying to talk to someone else about my problem i cant seem to tell the truth. I feel like a crap because i just cant seem to be happy with one person and i dont know why it is that when the going gets tough i always seem to turn to any other man that gives me any attention! I wish you the best of luck in your situation and hope that you can find happiness and feel your void!

I feel your pain