How Could This Be Happining

It wasnt until i tried to commit suicide that i relized that i was a love addict. Now looking back it all makes sense though, everything that i have been through in the last year. Me and my husband have been going through a seperation for a year and at first when we parted ways i thought that everything was going to be simple, an easy break. I was extermely hurt by the way that i had been treated and i didnt even want to talk to him. I immeditly when into the arms of another man, and then another and another untill finally i was able to talk to my husband again and we decided to work on some of our problems. Of course i was not going to tell him about the others that i had talked to when we were apart because i knew that he would never want to talk to me again. When he did find out about the others he was mad becuase a couple of them where friends of his. He was so furious that he told me that he did not want to talk to me and that he was going to file for divorce. I was devestated so much that i tired to kill myself. I thought that if i could not be with him then there was no reason to continue to live. Him and my parents stopped me from killing myself and he told me that we could work on our problems.

Even to this day though i still find myself thinking about other men constintly, me and my husband are trying to work on things but i am not sure if it will ever work this way. Every time we get into an argument the first thing that pops into my head is....Where can i find another guy to be with????

I dont understand these feelings and wish that i could think differently.....I just dont know how???
lostandconfused34 lostandconfused34
2 Responses Dec 13, 2012

Hi i know what you are going through...years ago I left my husband...and went directly to another and another and another always looking for a better one, a perfect one, that I wouldn't have any problems with ever again...I am learning about Love Addicts Anonymous and maybe this will help....It seems love addicts have a terror of conflict, abandonment and rejection, so the easiest thing is to go to a new person we think won't leave us. From what I have read they would suggest do not leave your husband or take on another man for need to be the focus, not him or them... I am new to this so I am still learning but it seems to make sense...keep trying and don't give up, you have a problem that needs help :)

Some of us have found SLAA a useful program to identify triggers, put in place boundaries and halt old destructive thinking and destructive behaviours. You are not alone.